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Insecurity

Gonna gripe in this one. Someone told me the other day that I was insecure. It's not the first time I've been told that, and it probably won't be the last. The thing is, the accusation was entirely baseless, and was flung at me by someone who in all likelihood is envious of the very thing which they hold as evidence of my insecurity... and that has been the case in every instance in which I've ever been called insecure.

 

It's become quite a pet peeve of mine. If you go to my profile and look at my recent comments, you'll see I ripped the head off of some puke in the feature section, in that thing where some kid made a bunch of South Park-like models of WWE wrestlers, who basically said the wrestlers were all insecure. Feel free to jump in there and stomp on the ashes.

 

Let me make it clear right away that this isn't about wrestling. The last time I was a fan of wrestling, there were two Undertakers facing off against each other in a casket match. Remember casket matches? Back when the Undertaker was more hellspawn and less biker, and Paul Bearer was still hanging around? Yeah.

 

Rather, this is about people who feel the need to point their fingers at people who are successful, wealthy, physically fit/attractive, etc etc etc, and claim that those people are insecure with themselves and their lifestyles, and that they have to buy themselves nice things or work their ass off keeping themselves in shape to make up for their insecurity. That they wouldn't be happy with themselves if they didn't have these things or look this way.

 

So is that to say that the only reason you're fat, ugly, and on welfare is NOT that you're too damn lazy to improve your station in life, but rather that you're secure and happy with what you have and how you live? And that because you've settled for so little, that you're somehow better than people who want and/or have more?

 

No. The reality behind these accusations is as plain as day: They themselves are insecure, unhappy with themselves and their lives, and jealous of those who have what they want to have and live how they want to live. But they're too lazy to put in the effort to get those things themselves, so instead they try to make themselves feel better by insisting that they are, in fact, happy with their lot in life, and that it's not envy but pity they harbor toward those more successful than themselves. They insist that their substandard lifestyle is in fact evidence of their humility and self-confidence, and that the richer lifestyles enjoyed by those others are evidence of precisely the opposite.

 

It's certainly true that being physically fit, healthy, and energetic, makes me happy, while being lazy and out of shape would make me unhappy. However, the fact that I would be unhappy with myself if I were a fat slob in no way makes me insecure about my body or my health. Knowing what you want and being unsatisfied with not having it is not insecurity.

 

And yes, I drive a Corvette. I'm not making up for anything. I love Corvette's, I've always loved Corvette's, and I've wanted one of my own since I was 12. Just like everything ELSE I've ever decided that I wanted, I set my sights on it, planned out how I was going to make it a reality, and achieved my goal. I now own my own Corvette. It really is just as simple as that... there's no deeper psychological significance to my choice in transportation. Get over it.

 

So to those who look at me, and other successful people, and accuse us of being insecure and unhappy with ourselves "beneath the surface" I have this to say to you: Being secure and self-assured is not the same as being lazy and indifferent. In fact, I daresay it's quite the opposite. I think the successful ones who live healthy, happy lives and own nice things are the ones who are secure with themselves, and YOU are the ones who are not. Take a good hard look in the mirror and know thyself before you start making excuses for the way you live compared to the way others live.

 

EDIT: To clarify my position, what I'm trying to say is that working hard to look good or stay in shape, or buying nice things for yourself, does not automatically make you insecure. It's when you do those things not because it's what you want or what you enjoy, but because you want other people to perceive you as successful, good-looking, wealthy, etc. and are afraid of the idea that people might see you as lazy poor or unattractive. THAT is insecurity.

 

Plenty of people work out for no other reason than to look good... but they do it because they enjoy looking good, not because they can't stand the thought that other people might find them unattractive. That's not insecurity.

 

Plenty of people buy nice things for themselves that they really don't need and could easily get by without... but they do it because they enjoy having those things, and don't want to simply "get by" with the minimum required to do so, not because they want to impress people with their flashy possessions. That's not insecurity.

 

That's all I'm trying to say. I for one keep myself in shape because I love being a Marine and I enjoy physical outdoor activities, and thus vicariously I enjoy being in shape. I buy nice things for myself that are more than what I need because I enjoy the luxury of having more than I need. I don't do these things to try and shape other people's perspective of me, and that's why it drives me up the wall when people look at my lifestyle and call me insecure.

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