Someone sent me something that got me thing about dumb law today so I decided to go out and make a list.

Ok, many of these laws are old and outdated, so long forgotten that no one knows they’re even there to take them off the books.  Others are obviously responding to specific events that no one knows the background or context of outside the community that created them.  Still, it doesn’t make them any less funny.

While putting this together I left off a lot of stupid laws that although stupid were not as ridiculous or stupid.  This list could be 10 times longer.  It also became clear that I could not do all 50 states in one shot.  Bottom line, we’ve got a lot of stupid laws!!  Maybe the Libertarians are right after all.

Alabama

1. It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.
2. It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
3. Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
4. Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
5. It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
6. You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
7. In Auburn, men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail.
8. In Mobile, no one may use a ‘funk ball’ within the city limits.
9. In Mobile, it is illegal to howl at ladies within the city limits.

Alaska

1. In Fairbanks, it is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
2. In Haines, a person may only carry a concealed slingshot if that person has received the appropriate license.
3. In Juneau, owners of flamingos may not let their pet into barber shops.

Arizona

1. Hunting camels is prohibited.
2. Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony.
3. There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
4. Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
5. It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine.
6. When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses.
7. You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
8. In Mohave County, a decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.
9. In Tombstone, it is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
10. In Tucson, women may not wear pants.

Arkansas

1. A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
2. Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.
3. In Little Rock, honking one’s car horn at a sandwich shop after 9 PM is against the law.
4. In Little Rock, No one may “suddenly start or stop their car at a McDonald’s.
5. In Little Rock, Dogs may not bark after 6 PM.
6. In Little Rock, Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term. (How much ya wanna bet this was enacted because of Bill Clinton.)
7. In Little Rock, It is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.

1. California
2. Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
3. Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
4. It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
5. No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.
6. In Arcadia, peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.
7. In Baldwin Park, nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
8. In Blythe, You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.
9. In Chico, detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.  (wow I guess they're safe from al qaeda!)
10. In Eureka, men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women.
11. In Fresno, no one may annoy a lizard in a city park.
12. In Fresno, it is illegal to sell gasoline to a drunken person.
13. In Hollywood, it is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
14. In Indian Wells, drinking intoxicating cement is prohibited.
15. In Lordi, it is illegal to shoot “silly string” at parade participants.
16. In Los Angeles, it is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent.
17. In Los Angeles, you may not hunt moths under a street light.
18. In Los Angeles, it is illegal to cry on the witness stand.
19. In Los Angeles, toads may not be licked.
20. In Norco, all persons wishing to keep a rhinoceros as a pet must obtain a $100 license first.
21. In Pacific Grove, it is illegal to molest butterflies. (I think we all know what they mean, but it still sounds funny when worded like that!)
22. In Palm Springs, it is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM.
23. In Portola, no person may carry a fish into a bar.
24. In Redlands, Motor vehicles may not drive on city streets unless a man with a lantern is wallking ahead of it.
25. In San Diego, It is illegal to shoot jackrabbits from the back of a streetcar.
26. San Francisco prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash.
27. In San Francisco, It is illegal to wipe one’s car with used underwear.
28. In San Francisco, Persons classified as “ugly” may not walk down any street.
29. In Walnut, children may not wear a Halloween mask unless they get a special permit from the sheriff.
30. In Walnut, males may not dress as a female unless a special permit is obtained from the sheriff.

Colorado

1. In Alamosa, throwing missiles at cars is illegal. (ok this is probably old and missile had a different meaning then, but still funny.)
2. In Aspen, catapults may not be fired at buildings. (Well after all the Norman invastions of Aspen, who can blame them?)
3. In Denver, It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.
4. It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver, Colorado.
5. In Louisville, residents may not own chickens, but may own up to three turkeys.
6. In Sterling, Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.

Connecticut

1. In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.
2. In Devon, It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
3. In Hartford, you aren’t allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands.
4. In Hartford, you may not educate dogs.
5. In New Britain, it is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25mph, even when going to a fire.

Delaware

1. In Lewes, getting married on a dare is grounds for an annulment.
2. In Rehoboth Beach, six-year-old girls may not run around without being fully clothed. (So is it ok if you’re not 6?)

Florida

1. The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages.
2. It is illegal to sell your children.
3. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
4. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
5. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
6. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
7. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
8. When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
9. You may not fart in a public place after 6 PM.
10. It is considered an offense to shower naked.
11. You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.
12. Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
13. In Big Pine Key, It is illegal to molest a Key deer.
14. Persons may not be “inappropriately attired” who work at hot dog stands.
15. In Destin, It is illegal for an owner of a store to allow another person to pass out free ducklings in front of the store.
16. Destin states that a cat that viciously chases passers-by is a ‘bad cat’.
17. In Destin, Torpedoes may not be set off in the city.
18. In Destin, if you notice an ice-cream man attempting to sell his cold concoctions in a cemetery, call the police immediately, for that is illegal.
19. In Pensacola, a women can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils.
20. In Sarasota, you may not catch crabs.
21. In Tampa, women may not expose their breasts while performing “topless dancing.”
22. In Tampa, lap dances must be given at least six feet away from a patron.

Ok, like I said more foolish laws than is healthy for a civilized society.  This is round 1.  If you liked this, then watch out for round 2!  Thanks for reading the whole thing if you made it this far.