Wrong Number

   One night, my friend Charlie and I were out at a club.  We had met several girls throughout the night and were having a great time.  At one point, Charlie disappears for a little while.  He finally shows back up and I asked, "Where have you been?"  Charlie replies with a sheepish grin, "I was making out with a girl I met on the way to the can."  I said, "Awesome!  So what's the deal?  Are you taking her home or what?"  He said, "Nah, I don't think so.  She was sort of annoying.  I told her I had to get home, but I told her to call me some time."  I said, "So wait...she's annoying, but you gave her your number?"  Charlie was like, "Well, I gave her your number.  Sorry.  I just couldn't ditch her after making out with her."  I said, "Why in the hell did you use my number as a bail out? Why didn't you just make up a number?"  Charlie said, "Uhhh....I didn't think of that sorry.  Anyway, she probably won't call."  I said, "You are such a dick."

   A couple of days past and I'm sitting at home one evening.  The phone rings.  It was the girl from the bar.  "Is Charlie there?" she said.  I said, "No.  There's no Charlie here."  There was silence.  Then she said, "Is this 867-5309?"  I said, "Ummm...yeah it is."  The girl starts crying, "I can't believe he gave me a fake number!"  I thought to myself, "GREAT! She's a drama queen."  I tried to console her, but she just kept crying.  I started to feel sorry for her.  She went on saying how she was tired of meeting guys who treated her like crap and how she was so sick of trying to meet people in bars.  I found myself listening and sympathizing with her.  She must have caught me in a weak moment.  Terrific!  Before I knew what I was saying, I asked if she wanted to meet for coffee.  She agreed and we did.

  This girl was amazing.  She was smart, she was beautiful, she was funny, and she was into all of the stupid stuff I liked.  It was unbelievable.  We stayed out all night.  We walked up and down 5th Avenue until dawn.  We were just talking.  I didn't bring up the fact that I knew Charlie because I didn't want to ruin the moment.  What a wonderful moment.

  She had to get to work and so did I.  I thought about her all day.  When I got home, I called Charlie.  I told him what happened.  He said, "Dude, if that's what you want...she's all yours.  I couldn't be happier for you."  However, since Charlie and I were best friends I was going to have to tell this girl the truth.   I did know Charlie.  So I called her up and told her the truth.  She was a little mad I didn't tell her right away, but she said it was alright.  We had another date.

  The months went by and this wonderful girl and I became amazingly close.  Everyday brought us closer together.  After a year, I proposed.  After 2 years, we were married.  Charlie was my best man.  In his toast at the reception, he apologized to my new wife and to both our families for what he had done in the bar.  He went on to say, "I think my actions were orchestrated by God so that these two soul mates could be together here today."  There wasn't a dry eye in the house.  Everything was perfect.

   A few months after the wedding, Charlie and I were out rock climbing.  We were up a few hundred feet.  I told Charlie I was going to go up to the next overhang and reset the safety lines.  I did and gave Charlie the OK to switch ropes.  As he was doing that, I said, "You know Charlie...I don't know where I'd be if you hadn't given my number to her that night."  Charlie said, "Yeah, I guess it was meant to be."  I said, "No Charlie.  This is meant to be."  He finished switching lines, leaned back to lock it in and said, "What?"  Before the last sound came out of his mouth he was falling down the side of the rock face.  His neck snapped like a dry twig when he hit the bottom.  I stared down at his lifeless body and yelled, "Don't use my number as your bail out plan you prick!"


Uploaded 10/24/2009
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