I own a 45 mag and I'll open it the fuck up
on someone who tries to threaten my family on
my property.


Tawpa's lips are thinner than the lines
of coke she snorted while pregnant with her
bastard child

Girls farts smell better than video games.
Seriously. You know that new game package
smell? Like when you just took off the
wrapping? My god, its a glorious smell. I've
masturbated sniffing this smell so many times.
It's great and the main reason I stillbuy
games. One time my sister farted on thecouch
next to me while I was playing StreetFighter
IV. She blushed, got up fanned her ass andran
to the bathroom to, I assume, shit or maybe
she shit herself while she was next to me,
there was some extra bulge in the back of her
jeans. Now let me reiterate. She wassitting
directly next to me. In effect, she farted on
my side and then waved fart gas from her butt
to my face. Now you fucking listen to me. This
smelled glorious. I immediately became
rockhard and didn't give a shit. I pulled my
cock out and masturbated right there smelling
my own sister's fart. I didn't even care that
I got beat by a scrub Ken while I was jerking
off.

My buddy was dating this super model
quality girl from Latvia who acted like her shit
don't stink but in fact she dropped a deuce at
his house when we were all there and fucking
cleared the apartment. Must have been
garlic moose sausage or something. Anyway, after
everyone busted her balls for about a
month, she was much more humble.

ingus made thumbs meaningless in a world
where thumbs meant everything....

I know your fags are mad, I can't say
that I blame you. I'm living like a BO$$ and
you think about suicide twice a week. I got
cash for days, you are swimming in credit card
debit. I'm pushing the lambo, you're
driving a fucking Nissian Altima. I'm getting more
pussy than Tampax, Playboy level pussy, you are
fucking your fist. I'm on my yacht on the reg, you're working in a cube 40 hours a week
making 25 bucks an hour. When I come in the
club I take that shit over, you can't
even afford to get in. I know you're mad

MoistGroin (Jan 29, 2012 8:49pm) �
0
bvmeone really hurt bbbx's feelings.
Like
anyone cares.
rico232 (Jan 29, 2012 8:50pm) � 4
Fat girls bruise easily

The same thng goes with the eyes. If I shine a
flashlight, did it make light if there was no
one there to see the light? of course not.
It's just waves or photons, which ever theory
you choose to believe, Until there is some
device such as our eys and brains to translate
those vibes into what we call
"Light", is when light becomes a
reality. A blind person will never understand
what Light is to him even If you spend 30
years trying to explain it to him. It's a
personal observation, it's all relative as
Einstein said. It's relative to the observer.

I've got a gay boss. He lets us do
whatever we want as long as shit gets
done and never bothers us. However, I'm
just waiting until I get that
performance review where I walk into the
room and he has no pants on and
basically say," Pout out or get
out." :(.

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Since you now have a criminal record here
in
eBaum's World, it is in my best interest
not
to engage in intercourse with you. To be
seen
with a known felon would be detrimental to
my
social standing. It is regretful, but I
must
not just think of myself but those who
count
on me to be a pillar of this society. I
wish
you well, for the rest of your life and
hope
your path will be straight and honorable,
but
the scent of your incarceration is not
something easily shaken. Farewell my sweet
devil child!

stuck in traffic yesterday and just
kinda thought it would be fun to
masturbate.
It was sunny and clear out, so I was
worried
one of the other drivers would see me, but
my
Jeep is pretty high off the ground, so I
think
no one noticed. I busted a nut and aimed it
down, ruining my Tweety Bird floor mat. I
felt
kinda stupid after and my mom kept silent
the
rest of the drive home. It was awkward and
I
regret it.

They're posting this message everywhere.

lol @ chicks "letting" you fuck em
in the butt. I don't like fuckin chicks in the
butt, and when you don't like fucking chicks
in the butt, they beg for it you to fuck them
in the butt. So you now know the secret to
fucking chicks in the butt, just don't act
like you like fucking chicks in the butt. Also
once you have her where you want her, be sure
to stick your toe in her butt.

illegal immigrant's left the strains
near the gazebo. This dill could result in
an outbreak, deaths and collapse. Human to
animal transfer insures damage to the food
supply. Maybe those Mayans were right bro.


You want to be a teacher right? you're
ugly a shell, those kids would tear you
apart. As i'm sure you know VERY well how
mean kids can be.suicide is your best option. Suicide would show all the people who were
ever meant to you what you are capable of. It
would sure show them win/win

HI CAN WE BE FRIEND?S

I am Jennifer by my names, kind and
good-looking young girl, I want us to be
friends, not to see the friendship or even
touched, because true friendship does not
matter anything, but it must be felt within
the heart.Wow, are friends like clothes,
without them we feel naked! I think
I''m right? We look forward to a
wonderful response from you.Contact me
(singlejennifer1@yahoo.in), so I send some
of my pictures to you so that we know from
there to each other.I'll wait to hear
from you soon.Jennifer coolsmile.

Im sick and tiered of all this shit talker that think there bad ass cause they talk shit online pussy need to grow up let there balls drop before they open there mouth can only say one thing over and over aging come up with some thing else to say you stupid illiterate fucks!


you need to shut the fuk up faggit... nobody
gives a shit that you love to suk black cock
and gave up drinking booze only to replace
it with jizz!

pro tip: copy from my profile, comment section

I just got on and hate to comment about the
vid, but are all pageant moms ugly and fat and
obnoxious, like you guys?

see this is the part that really sets me
off. i come on here hoping to catch a
laugh or two but instead im forced to
stomach THIS shit that you try to pan
off as comedy. but let me just reassure
you that the jokes really on you buddy.
in order to translate the humor hidden
in your slapstick vomit id have to be
some random defendant on a court tv show
pretending to laugh at the dry zingers
the judge craps out hoping to get on his
or her good side. all the meanwhile the
judge really thinks he is a regular
louie anderson. this is the part where
we go our separate ways my friend. you
should really use this time to take a
hard long look at yourself. twat.


I had a good Farter. He was a strong
Farter. His results on me were,
devestatting.

This poem hits me straight in my soul like a
piercing arrow that could only penetrate the
depths of my being...If paybacks a bitchand
revenge iz sweetthen im da sweetest bitch that
ul eva met gurl id stop talkin shit if i waz
ucoz 1 of thez daez ur guna getwatz cumin 2
younone of your friends will b thr 4 u coz ya
no wat they r...just az fake az u!!

love how all i want to do is check out some
vids before i hit the bars and i see you and
these other losers doing nothing but
commenting ion vidoes all the time here. get a
life. grow up. nobdody thinks the stuff you do
is funny. u and tawpa, lare striker, hotgurl,
squirtleshits and the rest will assuredly be
taking your virginity to the grave. sucks to
be you. i'm gonna go get wasted and hit on
some women. peace out. LOL!


My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf
friend. To be honest, I should have seen the
signs.

Douchebag??? Judging from your posts, it looks
like you take pleasure trolling e-baums to
talk gutter talk and make as much trouble as
you can. Are you really that big and bad? Is
being witty behind a pc that important to you?
Guess what? I don't think anyone is that
afraid of you or your desire to be a badass.
You're not as big and bad as you think you
are. In fact, it would be interesting to know
how old you are. I comment once in a while
here. I've been watching... You come on here
like you think you're some fucking viking or
something, in sporadic fits and act like you
own the place. Seriously, what the fuck?!? If
all you can do is call people names and dole
out as much trash toward others as you can,
then you got problems, dude. Though you wish
the worst for others (apparent in your many
comments), I wish you well and hope you can
find satisfaction someday from something other
than being inflammatory on the internet.

I have a friend who does this for a living,
and he has told me in the past all you need a
little bit of talent, and the equiptment. The
software, and tech is amazing. He was never
really an artist, but with the help of
technology he can create some of the most
amazing things I have seen.

I walked in to a club and they told me I was
too young so I shit on that cake bed before
they ate it.

i once ran into a club, they
said sir,you're not old enough, so i bought
the club and turned it into a gay club.

you ebaums junkies are fucking retarded....why
the fuck do you dumb asses spend ur time
trying to make urself giggle about dumb ass
comments that u post? just go jerk off...you
fuckin lame ass people.

I would imagine that many of you honorable
Christian men and women would not know of this
satanic piece of dog spit called My Little
Pony : Friendship is Magic. You might be aware
of the "innocent" television shows
of the 80's and 90's, which were already
teaching satanic rituals to young children,
but this is truely an awful show, devoted to
destroying our children's innocents.1. Despite
being a show intended for young girls it has
an extremely large fan base of grown men,
obviously this is the work of satanic
witchcraft being used to manipulate the minds
of good christian men.2. One of the main
characters of the show, named Rainbow Dash, is
a disgusting piece of lesbian slime who has
rainbow colored hair and enjoys nothing more
than sports, athletics, and lesbian pony sex,
which is consistently hinted at through the
use of subliminal messages throughout the
show3. It advertises sorcery and witchcraft,
with certain ponies using their evil zodiac
symbols to perform all sorts of evil co

Oh, i'm sorry, i didn't know this place was
run by ancient egyptians. FUCK YOUR CATS UP
THE CAT ASS

my friend holds AA meetings once a week at
my place, and i'm not fucking kidding either. i
go out and stay out of the way while they do
it.i would feel like an ass hole drinking
around them

I've had it up to HERE with you goddamn trolls!
You know what? I've been here since the early
days. Nobody thinks you're witty.Nobody thinks
you're funny. Nobody reads your goddamn stupid
posts. You jack off to each other thinking you
run this site but youDON'T. Read the video
hits -- 250,000,300,000, 500,000 views and
what, maybe 10 or12 of you punks posting shit?
You're nothingyou punks! Go to Goddamn hell!

Deficits are killing us, our dollars are worthless, and the Democrats are bankrupting the country and vilifying anyone who's successful. So naturally, people are protesting.

Here's the low-down. I'm a first year
university student. I have looks, brains, and
bitches. I profited $9,000 already just by
entering university. I have taken $7,500 of
said money and more than doubled it in the
stock market. I don't play pussy shit stocks.
I ride the waves of volatile stocks. The trick
is getting out with your money and not
sticking in like a chump. I'm an independent
fuck. I don't waste my time with one single
person. I don't follow any silly little
trends. I invent my own trends. Any bitch who
doesn't like it can go fuck a stereotype.
There is only one person worthy of my time,
who happens to be the female version of me.
She's a fucking babe, a player, and a poet.
Yes, we have fucked, but we have a swinger's
lifestyle - no obligations. I'm smarter,
sexier, and more confident than any of you
pathetic losers. I'm a natural born winner and
leader. You will hear about me in the future.

16/f/virgin/36c/firmtits/5'9/125 pounds/I like
guys who are short, overweight, not good
looking, and who are really into computers and
video games 16/f/virgin/36c/firmtits/5'9/125 pounds/I like
guys who are short, overweight, not good
looking, and who are really into computers and
video games

ok... WTF at the end... I felt like I was
watching a tame version of one of those shit
SAW movies (disregard this comment for the
first SAW movie... in my opinion the only SAW
movie)

What you need: a sidewalk. How to do it: Step
1: Slam your head into the sidewalk. Step 2:
Repeat. Headbutting is probably the manliest
thing ever. Not only is it useful for suicide,
it's also a great way to break up with your
girlfriend. For example, I couldn't find the
words to tell my ex that our relationship was
over, so one day while we were watching TV I
headbutt her in the tits. Then I picked up my
jacket and left. No awkward goodbyes, no
"still friends" bullshit. Just a
couple of bruised titties and a failed
relationship. I rule.

that's why their your burden I never have to try with the ones that LOVE ME FOR REAL cause its flow like the river it should and I do use River cause it has its tides, curents and of course white caps, lol but thats love, I never hurt or beg or bawl my eyes out for just trying, The Framily ( Friends and Family ) I have chose to stay at my side make it easy to me how I want and I now know that I am loved ans Apprecaited for what I Give to them


wow you really got me with taht STFU. i
think i will. oh wait i just posted
something. hey if i have to read your gay
face then you have to stfu please. oh i
banged your wife last night. Then i stuck it
in your pie hole. gfyydsr (go fuck yourself
you dick sucking retard). sorry that
slipped. the last thing im scared of is you.
dont post to me anymore. thanks buddy ...
have a nice day. love you :)

Let me tell you something you already know. Ebaums world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will thumb you down to -25 and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as thumbs down. But it ain't about how much thumbs down ya hit. It's about how much thumbs down you can get and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the thumbs, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain't gonna have an e-life..

You can not re-use. A semen-soaked fuck
puppet. You are useless now. fuck that
pussy shit. japaneese tryed to fuck with
us in world war to and we kickked there
tinty little asses. maybe they should
have gaven their soldiers testerone
shot, then they might have won. can an
asain even grow facial hair

I have never come across a more unfunny group
of assholes. I mean seriously, I went through
all of the comments for this video, and maybe
1% of them were actually about the video. You
all sit in your mom's basement eating hot
pockets and playing xbox probably. And what's
with all the goddamn cats? Jeans or whatever
you call them....I have no interest in ever
coming back to this place, and i suggest you
all leave and do the same. This is like a
cancer of the internet.


About a month ago I got adventurous and
decided to fap into the frying pan, using my
semen in place of little extra butter I
usually put in the pan when I'm grilling
grill'd cheese. I didn't notice much
difference in flavor when I tried it, although
it definitely didn't taste any worse. Last
night, however, while in the process leading
up to grilling two sandwiches for lunch for
myself and my sick mother, I noticed my
neighbor's 13 year old daughter changing in
the yard next door (our window sort of faces
out into the neighbor's yard, the suburban
layout of our community is somewhat strange),
presumably after getting out of the pool. I
got the urge to fap and decided to incorporate
it into my cooking again in secret. My mother
did seem to notice a difference in flavor for
the better - I nonchalantly told her I used a
different butter, which in it's essence wasn't
entirely a lie, I just didn't specify it was
my nut butter. I'm not about to outright lie
to mother.

I purchased 2 pet mice a few weeks ago. There
was a white mouse with brown spots, and a pure
brown mouse, both female. After weeks of
examining their personalities, my resentment
for them grew more and more with each passing
day. Eventually I decided that the best option
would be to murder both of them. The white and
brown one fell more into my good graces--she
was calmer and nicer (still a cunnt though),
but my deepest resentment was reserved for the
brown one (that fucking bitch). I put the
brown one in a small jar, lid secured. I then
proceeded to take a hammer, and with one
steady strike, I crushed the skull of the
white/brown one in front of her. After
murdering the only companion this mouse ever
knew, I began to mutilate its corpse before
her eyes. I sliced open its midsection
longways, removed all internal organs, cut off
its shattered head and completely skinned it,
leaving the hide intact. I let the creature
out of the jar and draped her dead friends
skin over her. After allowing the creature to scurry about the bloody mutilated remains of her friend
while wearing her skin, I placed the mouse in
a toilet paper roll, sealed it, doused it in
lighter fluid. I then placed the roll in my
fire pit and burned the brown mouse alive. The
most fascinating part is how the mice never
saw it coming. They were just going about
their business as usual when all the
sudden...BAM...I show up and destroy their
lives in the most brutal of fashions. The last
few moments of those mice's lives were
consumed by unfathomable terror, pain and
suffering. And guess what...I DON'T GIVE A
SHIT!!!


I intentionally choose not to abide by what others expect of us. We can be plain and truthful and still keep 'em disguste d because we've read wide sources of materials, traveled to other countries, participated in international student exchange programs, and generally did what we could to broaden our horizons. We may find some things funny that the more reserved might find shocking. We may have ideas that are beyond the understanding of the less traveled. This doesn't make us better. It just makes us more aware.

I want to be able to write what's on my mind. I
need that outlet and it is my right as an
American. I am not a racist. But I do have
strong opinions, that are sometimes based on
stereotypes. experience is my truth and
stereotypes are more factual than not. I want
to expose the real mind of TweeyB. I love
everyone but ya'll can really piss me off wit
stupidity. And most have no confidence in what
they believe or who they are. I know who I am
and just want to be me. Faces are so easy to
hide behind. Those faces are like layers of an
onion and have to be removed, so I can get to
the whole truth, of who I am, and who I am
destined to be. My blog (not yet created) will
be for the sole purpose of gettin shit out of
my head. The life of the mind SUCKS! I
encourage others to visit my blog (coming
soon) to voice their beliefs, opinions,
values...and challenge mine. I can handle the
worst. I'm a big girl (not litterally) Thanks
for reading this far. Peace and love!

see this is the part that really sets me
off. i come on here hoping to catch a
laugh or two but instead im forced to
stomach THIS shit that you try to pan
off as comedy. but let me just reassure
you that the jokes really on you buddy.
in order to translate the humor hidden
in your slapstick vomit id have to be
some random defendant on a court tv show
pretending to laugh at the dry zingers
the judge craps out hoping to get on his
or her good side. all the meanwhile the
judge really thinks he is a regular
louie anderson. this is the part where
we go our separate ways my friend. you
should really use this time to take a
hard long look at yourself. twat.

I was in a troll room once and this guy swore
he wanted to fight me. I set up the time and
place, drove 4 hours and that puss never
showed. He was so tough on the chat but not so
much in real life.

Stop whoring for my attention Neko. I can tell
by all of the effort you went through to
gather those quotes and comments, that you
miss our little e-war. I really don't feel
like talking to a EBaums troll about my life
and family anymore.... especially when it's
about the same 2-3 things that you've been
going on about for months and months now.
Seriously... I think it's been over 6 months
since you first started this bullshit. Get
fucking life will ya?

oh man, Friday, I really wanted an egg salad
sandwich and I was just obsessing about it and
I was like, 'Man, I'm gonna make one of
those.' So Saturday, I went out and got, like,
a dozen eggs and then I boiled them all and I
just, I spent, I dunno, probably three hours,
like three and a half hours making, you know,
the mayonnaise, and the onions and paprika
and, you know, the necessary accoutrement. And
then, by the time I was done, I didn't really
feel like like eating it. So you know, it was
pretty good. It was a good weekend

A truck driver in New Zealand nearly popped
after an air hose accidently got lodged in his
buttocks. Steven McCormack says he is
"lucky to be alive" after the
bizarre accident on Saturday landed him in
intensive care at a hospital in Whakatane, on
the North Island's east coast. "I felt
the air rush into my body and I felt like I
was going to explode," he told 3News in
New Zealand on Tuesday. The 48-year-old was at
Waiotahi Contractors where he worked, standing
on the rigging between his truck and the
trailer when he slipped and fell. He landed on
the hose connected to the semi's airbrakes and
broke it. The nozzle pierced his left buttocks
and air from the tanks pumped into his body at
100 pounds per square inch.


All of us have been born and raised within a
statist box, one in which the federal
government's primary roles are to take care of
people, regulate their economic activities,
and maintain an overseas military empire that
intervenes in the affairs of other countries.
Both liberals and conservatives have come to
accept this statist box as a permanent feature
of American life. Even worse, they have
convinced themselves that life in this statist
box is actually freedom. What makes
libertarians different from liberals and
conservatives is that, although we too have
been born and raised within the statist box,
we have broken free of it, in an intellectual
and moral sense. Moreover, unlike liberals and
conservatives, we recognize that statism isn't
freedom at all. It's the opposite of freedom.
Genuine freedom, libertarians contend, entails
a dismantling of the statist box in which we
all live.

The thing I love most about dc is their
parking policy. Instead of towing your
car to a parking lot ( boring) they
relocate it! And when you call to ask
them where they put your car, they don't
know! So you're thrown into a fun game
of hide and seek with your car as you
walk aimlessly around the city pressing
panic. When you finally find your car,
you get a $130 ticket tucked in your
wiper. DC, you are one bad bitch

Weddings are fucking stupid, you pay thousands
of dollars so some asshole can wave his hand
over your head and declare you a couple?
Humans are so more de-evolved than they think.
In reality their is no such thing as marriage
or money. You should get on your knees and
suck whoevers dick for letting you live.

I know you have some kind of bro crush
on me right now, and my biceps, and no
one can blame you for that. The problem
is that you're a full blown useless
faggot and I'm not but even if I was a
dick vacuum I still wouldn't talk to you
because you wouldn't be in my class of
faggots. I would have numerous delicious
strong and beautiful men tongue punching
my fart box while you would be trolling
the truck stops for some fat hairy
smelly man butter. You're a faggot.


Actually, this is not the woman's fault. I'm
aparking attendant at an LA parking garage,
andthe placement of this booth basically
violatesabout 3 regulations that I can see
just bywatching this video. It juts too far
out inthe way of the woman's car, for one.
It's alsototally out of date, and looks sort
of likethe model's they were turning out back
in theearly 90's, which means it doesn't even
complywith the Americans With Disabilities
act.Basically, the owner of this lot has a
hugefucking lawsuit coming his way.

um, wow, cork is not
"harvested". This is not wheat
or corn or something. over 95% of all
cork today is manufactured through
industrial plants which convert recycled
paper products into a cork-like
substance. if we relied on goatherders
like this fuck to provide all our cork,
every bottle of whine would probably
cost about $100 because this is
incredibly inefficient. I have toured
the cork factories of Shenzen Province
in southeast China. This facilities can
knock out about 100,000 barrells of cork
a day. A day. And the factory workers
who produce it are a hell of alot
cheaper than this dude.


That black guy is a terrible example of
an actual black guy. He is whitewashed.
It is true though, as the phillipino guy
said, BET, NAACP, they're allowed to
call us crackers, but if we say anything
besides african american, or have
anything based on white people only,
we're racist. It is fucked up no matter
how you look at it. They have no less
rights than us, time to stop your
bitching black people.

Stuff is crazy! The first time you peel it,
its like 27 years till you can do it again.
The first harvest is virgin cork and pretty
much crap after that AND 27 years the product
is primo stuff. Pretty trippy to think the
average cork harvester will only live long
enough to do one tree twices and thats if he
is good nuff shape to peel it again in his
sixties lol

The name's Ron Blastoise. I've just made an
account on this website and quite frankly,
it's shit. I've skimmed around the comments in
the past and told myself I would never be a
part of this cluster-fuck you imbeciles call
"trolling", but here the fuck I am.
Not so fast. I am actually here to police you
assholes and to make sure you all know you
have literally no lives. Every single one of
you is fat, gay, ugly, stupid, and possibly
mentally retarded. I cannot stress enough how
incredibly wasteful all of your lives truly
are. Honestly, I might just leave this as my
final comment and leave this atrocity of a
website forever. Let that be a lesson to you
all.

As a very prominent and influential
Hollywood actor, I am privy to many
secrets of this nation's societal elite.
Although I won't disclose the name of my
source for fear of implicating those for
whom I care deeply, I can
authoritatively tell you that Osama Bin
Laden was not buried at sea. His body
was shipped directly to the Oval Office
and stored in a vault hidden behind a
bookcase, accessible only to the
President and those whom he deems worthy
of entry. To make a long story short,
Obama and his counterparts took turns
snorting meth and having sex with Bin
Laden's dead body. This is very
privileged information. Use it wisely.

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