14 Signs Your Online Relationship isn't Working Out.
tdoglog
Published
10/31/2008
14) You discover that "Chesty McBust" isn't her real name, and she's dialing in from Langley, VA.
13 ) You: Large, hairy man. Your online girlfriend: Large, hairy man.
12 ) Her postmaster rejects your e-mail not as "undeliverable" but as "unlikely to get you anywhere."
11 ) After months of shared experiences and emotional investments, she attacks you in the Mines of Quarn with a Vorpal Sword when she learns you're worth 45,000 points.
10 ) "Returned mail: User unknown and never wants to hear from you again."
9 ) Your cyberlover is just too busy editing that silly little Top 5 List.
8 ) Getting perhaps a bit too comfortable, she lets a reference to cutting her chin shaving slip by.
7 ) You discover that she has been cutting and pasting her orgasms.
6 ) You can barely make out your SO's face in the JPEG she sent because she's obscured by her 25 cats.
5 ) He claims to be the richest man in the world, but his GIF looks like some geek who works for a software company.
4 ) Since her first e-mail, Make.Money.Fast!@cyber-promotions.com has become cold and distant.
3 ) She's suddenly changed her address to comingout@lesbian.com
2 ) Ken Starr launches an investigation into your relationship with the mysterious "tubby@whitehouse.gov"
1 ) In an ironic twist of fate, you discover that the object of your affection is a curvaceous 18 year old, rather than the geeky 14 year old boy she'd pretended to be.
13 ) You: Large, hairy man. Your online girlfriend: Large, hairy man.
12 ) Her postmaster rejects your e-mail not as "undeliverable" but as "unlikely to get you anywhere."
11 ) After months of shared experiences and emotional investments, she attacks you in the Mines of Quarn with a Vorpal Sword when she learns you're worth 45,000 points.
10 ) "Returned mail: User unknown and never wants to hear from you again."
9 ) Your cyberlover is just too busy editing that silly little Top 5 List.
8 ) Getting perhaps a bit too comfortable, she lets a reference to cutting her chin shaving slip by.
7 ) You discover that she has been cutting and pasting her orgasms.
6 ) You can barely make out your SO's face in the JPEG she sent because she's obscured by her 25 cats.
5 ) He claims to be the richest man in the world, but his GIF looks like some geek who works for a software company.
4 ) Since her first e-mail, Make.Money.Fast!@cyber-promotions.com has become cold and distant.
3 ) She's suddenly changed her address to comingout@lesbian.com
2 ) Ken Starr launches an investigation into your relationship with the mysterious "tubby@whitehouse.gov"
1 ) In an ironic twist of fate, you discover that the object of your affection is a curvaceous 18 year old, rather than the geeky 14 year old boy she'd pretended to be.
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