8 different things about nothing
pbl0
Published
03/03/2009
1) Pulsing Bloodbags
Shake your hand really hard, for a fairly long time, until your fingertips feel like they're turning into rubber. Stop for a moment. Now do it again. It takes less time the second time for "rubberization" to commence, eh?
2) Enhanced Awareness
Look in the mirror, use both hands to pull your lips wide, then snap your teeth open and closed as shown in the photo. This makes you "AWARE OF YOUR SKULL." Why, your face is just a thin layer of meat! Now be honest, can't you feel your Death sitting up there in the future, patiently waiting? You Americans, you talk and you talk, but you don't consider The Salmon Mousse! All too soon that skull in the mirror won't be moving any more. Might there be something important you should be doing right now? (Once the full-blown skull awareness wears off, find another mirror and restore it to full strength.)
3) Gleeking
Yawn. (no, REALLY yawn), then immediately curl your tongue backwards and force it against the roof of your mouth. The saliva glands under your tongue will squirt like a squirtgun! You can only squirt once or twice before another yawn is required. Also works while eating (or sucking on hard candy.) Practice this in front of a mirror until you can slightly part your lips and silently hit a target with deadly accuracy. Hey! Is it raining in here?
4)Two-inch sparks
Create REALLY BIG "static" sparks: on a winter's day, scuff your feet on the rug so that your body becomes electrified. Now stand near a victim. Wiggle your shoes while pressing on the rug, so that you build up some charged footprints. Now suddenly LEAP INTO THE AIR and touch your victim with your finger at the same time, while you're still in flight. The spark will be much stronger than normal
5) Cross one eye
This is a very simple trick. Just cross your eyes at somebody so everything becomes doubled, then stare at just one of the pair of people you see. If you look at the left-hand twin, that person will see your right eye cross, but your left eye will not. Crossing one eye is supposed to be a come-on in the South Pacific and Indonesia. In Kabuki theater it's called 'mie.'
6) Finger of PAIN
After getting out of the car, quickly touch one of your passengers. Snap! Why waste a good "zap" on the car door? (If you don't enjoy sparks, then use the car keys to touch your passenger. The shock still occurs, but YOU won't feel it!)
7) Balloon gyroscope.
Put a coin inside a balloon, then blow it up and tie it off. Shake it and then swirl the balloon around, and the penny will start rolling around in a circle! It makes a whirring noise and smoothly circulates. Get it going fast, then let it go, and the balloon whirrs and wobbles maniacally.
Once you get good at spinning the coin, get it going in a vertical circle, and place the balloon gently against one ear. Loud mechanical roaring noise! Do this with TWO balloons at the same time, and put one balloon against each of your ears. It's LOUD, and has stereo effects. Better yet, sneak up behind your victims and put them on THEIR ears. Sounds like UFOs touching down right outside your building.
8)TWO-LAYER COLA
Diet drinks will float on full-sugar drinks, but only if you add a layer of crushed ice to disrupt the flow from the spigot. Do this: first add about an inch ice, then fill it half way with normal NON-diet cola, then top it off with a different color of diet drink (such as Lite lemonade, or diet orange, or lemon-lime, etc.) It's like a "Black & Tan" beer! Then you can either drink the first layer and leave the second one, or dip your straw to different levels to drink one layer at a time (and people will see the two colors of beverage going up your clear straw. Strange!) If you use a clear plastic cup, then you can also make subsurface waves that slosh back and forth in slow motion like those blue "ocean wave" paperweight thingies.
Shake your hand really hard, for a fairly long time, until your fingertips feel like they're turning into rubber. Stop for a moment. Now do it again. It takes less time the second time for "rubberization" to commence, eh?
2) Enhanced Awareness
Look in the mirror, use both hands to pull your lips wide, then snap your teeth open and closed as shown in the photo. This makes you "AWARE OF YOUR SKULL." Why, your face is just a thin layer of meat! Now be honest, can't you feel your Death sitting up there in the future, patiently waiting? You Americans, you talk and you talk, but you don't consider The Salmon Mousse! All too soon that skull in the mirror won't be moving any more. Might there be something important you should be doing right now? (Once the full-blown skull awareness wears off, find another mirror and restore it to full strength.)
3) Gleeking
Yawn. (no, REALLY yawn), then immediately curl your tongue backwards and force it against the roof of your mouth. The saliva glands under your tongue will squirt like a squirtgun! You can only squirt once or twice before another yawn is required. Also works while eating (or sucking on hard candy.) Practice this in front of a mirror until you can slightly part your lips and silently hit a target with deadly accuracy. Hey! Is it raining in here?
4)Two-inch sparks
Create REALLY BIG "static" sparks: on a winter's day, scuff your feet on the rug so that your body becomes electrified. Now stand near a victim. Wiggle your shoes while pressing on the rug, so that you build up some charged footprints. Now suddenly LEAP INTO THE AIR and touch your victim with your finger at the same time, while you're still in flight. The spark will be much stronger than normal
5) Cross one eye
This is a very simple trick. Just cross your eyes at somebody so everything becomes doubled, then stare at just one of the pair of people you see. If you look at the left-hand twin, that person will see your right eye cross, but your left eye will not. Crossing one eye is supposed to be a come-on in the South Pacific and Indonesia. In Kabuki theater it's called 'mie.'
6) Finger of PAIN
After getting out of the car, quickly touch one of your passengers. Snap! Why waste a good "zap" on the car door? (If you don't enjoy sparks, then use the car keys to touch your passenger. The shock still occurs, but YOU won't feel it!)
7) Balloon gyroscope.
Put a coin inside a balloon, then blow it up and tie it off. Shake it and then swirl the balloon around, and the penny will start rolling around in a circle! It makes a whirring noise and smoothly circulates. Get it going fast, then let it go, and the balloon whirrs and wobbles maniacally.
Once you get good at spinning the coin, get it going in a vertical circle, and place the balloon gently against one ear. Loud mechanical roaring noise! Do this with TWO balloons at the same time, and put one balloon against each of your ears. It's LOUD, and has stereo effects. Better yet, sneak up behind your victims and put them on THEIR ears. Sounds like UFOs touching down right outside your building.
8)TWO-LAYER COLA
Diet drinks will float on full-sugar drinks, but only if you add a layer of crushed ice to disrupt the flow from the spigot. Do this: first add about an inch ice, then fill it half way with normal NON-diet cola, then top it off with a different color of diet drink (such as Lite lemonade, or diet orange, or lemon-lime, etc.) It's like a "Black & Tan" beer! Then you can either drink the first layer and leave the second one, or dip your straw to different levels to drink one layer at a time (and people will see the two colors of beverage going up your clear straw. Strange!) If you use a clear plastic cup, then you can also make subsurface waves that slosh back and forth in slow motion like those blue "ocean wave" paperweight thingies.
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