How is a man like the weather?
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.

How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts?
Guilt gifts are nicer.

What do men and women have in common?
They both distrust men.

What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?
Sex.

Why are men like blenders?
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Why are men like commercials?
You can't believe a word they say.

Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.

Men are like linoleum: Lay them once right and you can walk on them for the next 20 years.

Men are like snowstorms: You never know when they are coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last.

Men are like plungers: They spend most of their time in the hardware store or the bathroom.

Men are like ho