Some time before they copied Quizno's and got a toaster oven, I was on my lunch break getting a sandwich from Subway. Nothing fancy, nothing fancy. I ordered a Subway Melt, and the girl behind the counter asked "Would you like cheese on that?"

"Naw, I want you to melt one o' them straws on there. Here's your sign." Yeah, I went there. The whole Bill Engvall routine. So, there I go, I figure we're done. Joke's been made, maybe she'll be more careful. I tell her what kind of cheese I want on it, and all that stuff. Then she drops the other shoe.

"Do you want me to melt it in the microwave?"

"Naw, I want you to pour brandy over it and light it on fire. Here's another sign."

Now I've got a problem. Do I order the cherries jubilee or the bananas foster to go with my Subway Flambe?