My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping
channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
& nbsp; anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes
from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

==============================
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
&nbs p; someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station...

And then the fight started....

==============================
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my
driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized
I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry,
but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt
revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for
me' and she processed my Social Se curity application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at
the Social Security office.

She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have
gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...

==============================
&n bsp; My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat
alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took
to drinking right after we split u p those many years ago,
and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

==============================
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside th e
road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how
sometimes you just get so stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM
NOT HAPPY!'

So, I loo ked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are
you?'

And then the fight started...