What's the biggest cause of paedophilia in this country?
-Sexy kids.

What do spinach and anal sex have in common?
-If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.

A girl is watching her father shower.
She points to his penis and says, "Daddy, when will I get one of those?"
-He looks at his watch and says, "When your mother leaves for work!"

What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
-You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball.

A guy rings his boss at work and says, "Look, I'm really sorry, but I can`t come to work today. I'm sick".
"Sick!" screams his boss. "Sick! This is the tenth time this month. Just exactly how sick are you?"
-"Well", he replies, "I'm in bed with my nine-year-old daughter."

What's the worst thing about being a paedophile?
-You just don't fit in.

What should you do if your little girl starts smoking?
-Slow down and use a lubricant.