Helen was not the most attentive in church. Usually she slept through the service. One day, aware of this fact, the preacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Helen, who created the universe?'' When Helen didn't stir, her husband took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty!'' shouted Helen and the preacher said, ''Very good'' and Helen fell back to sleep.

A while later the preacher asked Helen, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Helen didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, her husband came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Helen and the preacher said, ''Very good,'' and Helen fell back to sleep.

Then the preacher asked Helen a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, her husband jabbed her with the pin. This time Helen jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!'' The preacher fainted.