Q. What do Disney World & Viagra have in common?
A. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.

Q. Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?
A. He decided to stick it out for one more year!

Q. Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in?
A. The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!

Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant
A. Marry it.

Q. What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A. They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.

Q. How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
A. When his hand caught on fire.

Q. What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A. Yell at her.

Q. What is the difference between a female snowman and a male snowman?
A. Snowballs.

Q. What's the difference between pink and purple?
A. The grip!