TAE A FART

Oh whit a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
Jist as ye sit doon among yer kin
There sterts tae stir an enormous win’

The neeps ‘n’ tatties ‘n’ mushy peas
Stert workin’ like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin’ wi’ the sauncie face
Will hae ye blawin’ a’ ower the place

Nae maiter whit the hell ye dae
A ‘bodys gonnae hiv tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
It’s like a bullet oot a rifle

Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair
Tae try an’ stop the leakin’ air
Shify yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Prae tae God it disnae reek

But aw yer efforts go asunder
Oot it comes like a clap o’ thunder
Ricochets aroon the room
Michty me a sonic boom

God almichty it fairly reeks
Hope a huvnae shit ma breeks
Tae the bog a better scurry
Aw whit the hell, it’s no ma worry

A ‘body roon aboot me chokin’
Wan or twa are nearly bokin
A’ll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile

Wis him! A