One day there was this man, and he worked on a construction site. He was standing behind one of the front loaders, and he tripped, his arm got caught in one of the moving parts and was clipped clean off. So he went to the doctor. After they stopped the bleeding the doctor told the man "We could put a brand new robotic arm on to replace yours. Just tell it to do anything and it will do it all for you." He said. So of course this guy says "hell yes".
They put the arm on his stump and sent him home.

Once the man got home he went to his sofa. He then decided to play around with the new arm. He looks at the TV. It was off. So he says "Arm, pick up remote" and the arm reaches over and grabs the remote. The guy says "Arm, press power button. Then "Arm, channel 110" and the arm puts the TV on channel 110. He laughed at how awesome it was. Then he started to feel and itch... A downstairs itch. So the man says "Arm, scratch balls", so the arm reached over and scratched. The man suddenly got an idea... He said "Arm, rub penis" and it started to rub. Then the man said.

"Arm... Jerk off"

And then the arm gripped him, and in one swift movement, it LITTERALY JERKED HIS DICK RIGHT OFF OF HIS BODY!
The man screamed "OH SHIT, F*CK ME!"

Then the arm took his dick and turned it around, and shoved it up his ass.

"HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THAT" Then the arm took his dick, and stuck it in his eye.

END