Yo Grandpa so old his social security number is 000-000-001

Yo Priest so old he's got Adam and Eve's autograph

Yo Archeology Professor so old we found cave drawings of her.

Your Wife getting so old she startin to fart out Mummy dust

You Postman so damn old his zip code is 00001.

Yo' geeky Star Wars friend so old he used to baby sit Yoda

Yo Doctor so old he uses chewing gum as a bandaid.

Yo hairdresser so old she used to cut Betty Rubble's hair

You so old you used to gang bang wid the Flintstones

Yo' home helper so old she was once a waitress at the last supper

Yo Grannie so old Spielberg hired her as historical consultant on Jurassic Park

Yo Nana so old she the only Creature in Jurassic Park they never had to animate

You Gardener so old she uses T-Rex dropping as fertilizer.

Yo History teacher so damn old he was co-author of the Dead Sea scrolls

Your Aunties so old that when God said 'let there be light', she was the one flicking on the light s