A cucumber and pickle and a penis are talking about how bad their lives are:

The cucumber says, man my life sucks. when i get big, hard and juicy they cut me up and put me on a salad.

The pickle retorts, thats nothing, when i get big, hard and juicy they drown me in vinegar and spices, and put me in a box thats close to freezing.

The penis replies, you guys have it easy, when i get big, hard and juicy they strangle me with some rubber, stick me in a dark place, and slam my head against a wall over and over until i puke and pass out.