Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Phoenix, who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Reno. One of my sisters is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes.

I have two brothers: one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence for the murder of a teenage boy. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Scottsdale. She is a part time 'working girl.'

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who supports either Hilary or Obama for President?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation