Two men were sitting next to each other on airplane, sporting two identical black eyes. The man on the right noticed this, and asked the other how he got his.
"Well, I was waiting in line for plane tickets," said the man on the left, "when i noticed the ticket taker had the most amazing hooters I've ever seen! So, real casually, I reached up, grabbed her breasts, and asked if she wanted to make love in the restroom, and then she hit me. How'd you get yours?" asked the man on the left.
"Well," said the man on the right,"This morning I meant to ask my wife to pass the cornflakes, but it came out as 'you ruined my life."