Ok, this is good when speaking to someone whose name you know...

Did you know that women have 3 types of orgasms?

The first is called "The Religious Orgasm." You can distinguish this orgasm when she screams, "Oh God! Jesus Chriiiiist!"

The second is "The Profane Orgrasm." You know she has these when she screams, "Oh shit, oh fuck, give it to me bastard!"

The third is "The Fake Orgasm." You know she has these when she screams "_____________" (insert your friend's name here)