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Top Ten Signs The U.N. Doesn't Take Your Country Seriously

10. Cafeteria tablecloth looks suspiciously like your country's flag

9. Your country's sole U.N. responsibility is putting up streamers for the holiday dance

8. You're officially introduced as "What's-his-face from the hell hole"

7. You have to share a room with Saddam Hussein

6. Your wife has to share a room with President Clinton

5. At the big summit conference, Castro keeps asking you to get him a decaf latte

4. You're informed that your country was won by Sweden in a late-night poker game

3. As a salute to democracy, you donate your country's constitution; ten minutes later you see it in the free box

2. Under his breath, Kofi Annan calls you a "major-league asshole"

1. You receive invitation to the big September summit in October
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