10. Cafeteria tablecloth looks suspiciously like your country's flag

9. Your country's sole U.N. responsibility is putting up streamers for the holiday dance

8. You're officially introduced as "What's-his-face from the hell hole"

7. You have to share a room with Saddam Hussein

6. Your wife has to share a room with President Clinton

5. At the big summit conference, Castro keeps asking you to get him a decaf latte

4. You're informed that your country was won by Sweden in a late-night poker game

3. As a salute to democracy, you donate your country's constitution; ten minutes later you see it in the free box

2. Under his breath, Kofi Annan calls you a "major-league asshole"

1. You receive invitation to the big September summit in October