The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two
people, Mary or Jack. It was an impossible decision because they were
both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire
the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.

Mary came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying
all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The boss
approached her and said Mary, Ive never done this before but I either
have to lay you or Jack off .

Could you jack off? she says. I feel like shit.