a man walks into a pub, orders a beer and begins punching his hand with his finger as if he was dialing a phone.
"what are you doing mate?" the barman asked him
"ive had a phone installed in my hand, because i was fed up of always carrying one around", he then offers to let the land lord try it.
so the man dials the the pub across the street, the land lord talks to the other landlord and cant belive it.
"amazint, init?" says the man "where are the gent to?".
so the landlord tells him, but when the man dosnt come out for half an hour, the landlord goes looking for him.
he finds the man spreadeagled against the wall with his trousers down, and a roll of toliet paper hanging out his trousers.
"my god!" the landlord exclaimed "were you mugged?"
the man turns to him and says "no im fine just waiting for a fax"