"COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We dont pay enough to expect that youll dress up.

"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED"
Youll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"APPLY IN PERSON"
If youre old, fat or ugly youll be told the position has been filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
Weve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.