you might be a redneck if....

Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.

A seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.

One of your kids was born on a pool table.


Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

Your house doesn't have curtains,
but your truck does.

On your first date you had to ask your
Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

If you refer to the fifth grade
as, "your senior year".

You've ever climbed a water tower
with a bucket of paint
to defend your sister's honor.

Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart
'cause there is a law against it.

You've been on TV more than 5 times
describing the sound of a tornado.


Your aunt and your grandmother went to the funeral and had a fight over who gets to be the widow.

You think the stock market
has fence around it.

You own a homemade fur coat.


Your wife has ever said,
"Come move this transmission
so I can take a bath."


The FBI surrounded your trailer park
twice so far this year.

Your parents met at a family reunion.

YOUR IDEA OF HIGH-QUALITY ENTERTAINMENT
IS A SIX-PACK AND A BUG-ZAPPER.

Anyone in your family died right
after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!".


You have the local taxidermist's
number on speed dial.

On Thanksgiving Day you have
to decide which pet to eat.