1. You so stupid, you had to call 411 to get the number for 911!
2. The bakery called--they want their rolls back!
3. I'd slap you, but shit splatters.
4. Your armpits are so stank they make speedstick slow down and think about it.
5. You're so ugly, you didn't get hit with the ugly stick -- you got hit with the whole damn tree!
6. The gap between your teeth is so big, I don't know whether to smile back at you or kick a field goal.
7. You're so poor that when you go to McDonald's, you have to put the dollar meal on layaway!