1) Zero Gravity



When NASA started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that

ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem,

NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that

writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including

glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil. Your taxes are due again--enjoy paying

them.



(2)Our Constitution



'They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq . Why don't

we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys,

it's worked for over 200 years and hell, we're not using it

anymore.'







(3) Ten Commandments



The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse

is that you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' 'Thou Shalt Not

Commit

Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers,

judges

and politicians! It creates a hostile work environment.