Crazy Death Story
cormanser
Published
04/13/2009
So St. Peter was watching the pearly gates, cuz that's his job and God calls him up on his boost mobile and tells him that Heaven is getting overcrowded. God informs Peter that he's only allowed to let in people who have experienced a crazy death and deserve to relax in their afterlife.
So right after Peter hangs up the phone a man walks up to the gate and Peter asks him how he died.
The man says, "well it's a little embarrassing and a long story but it all started when I suspected my wife was cheating on me. I decided to act like I was leaving for work and hide in the stairs at our apartment." After about 20 mins I ran into the apartment and heard a bunch of rustling around in the bedroom. So I went in there and found my wife naked under the covers. WHERE IS HE! I yelled. She acted like I didn't know what I was talking about. I looked all over the apartment but couldn't find anybody. Finally I went out to our balcony on the 17th floor of our building and saw a man hanging off it in his boxers. I went berserk and started trying to peel back his fingers, biting them, but this guy would not let go. So I went and got a hammer and started smashing his fingers and poured salt in his wounds. Finally he let go and landed in some bushes. Then he stumbled to his feet. I was so pissed that he survived the fall that I wheeled out our refrigerator and pushed it over our balcony and it landed on him. All the stress from this gave me a giant heart attack and killed me."
Peter couldn't believe it and told the man that was crazy enough and to enjoy heaven.
About 5 mins later a man walks up and Peter asked him how he died.
The man said, "It's a little embarrassing, but every morning before work I like to practice yoga on the balcony at my apartment which is on the 18th floor. I was doing the flying eagle position and slipped and fell over the balcony but luckily I grabbed on to the one underneath mine. I was so scared but then a man shows up and I thought I was saved. I was wrong. The man started freaking out and started trying to peel back my fingers, then he smashed them with a hammer and proceeded to pour salt in my wounds. I couldn't hold on any longer and fell 17 stories to the ground in some bushes. Miraculously I was alive, and as I stumbled to my feet I looked to the sky and thought, God must have some greater purpose for me to survive something like that. Then a refrigerator fell on me and killed me.
Peter told the guy that was crazy enough and to enjoy heaven (also that he knows somebody who just went in). About 5 mins later another man walks up and Peter asks him how he died.
The guy says, "Get this, I'm naked in a refrigerator"
Comedian Josh Sneed told this joke at a show I saw, so give him the credit. Check him out, he's really funny.
So right after Peter hangs up the phone a man walks up to the gate and Peter asks him how he died.
The man says, "well it's a little embarrassing and a long story but it all started when I suspected my wife was cheating on me. I decided to act like I was leaving for work and hide in the stairs at our apartment." After about 20 mins I ran into the apartment and heard a bunch of rustling around in the bedroom. So I went in there and found my wife naked under the covers. WHERE IS HE! I yelled. She acted like I didn't know what I was talking about. I looked all over the apartment but couldn't find anybody. Finally I went out to our balcony on the 17th floor of our building and saw a man hanging off it in his boxers. I went berserk and started trying to peel back his fingers, biting them, but this guy would not let go. So I went and got a hammer and started smashing his fingers and poured salt in his wounds. Finally he let go and landed in some bushes. Then he stumbled to his feet. I was so pissed that he survived the fall that I wheeled out our refrigerator and pushed it over our balcony and it landed on him. All the stress from this gave me a giant heart attack and killed me."
Peter couldn't believe it and told the man that was crazy enough and to enjoy heaven.
About 5 mins later a man walks up and Peter asked him how he died.
The man said, "It's a little embarrassing, but every morning before work I like to practice yoga on the balcony at my apartment which is on the 18th floor. I was doing the flying eagle position and slipped and fell over the balcony but luckily I grabbed on to the one underneath mine. I was so scared but then a man shows up and I thought I was saved. I was wrong. The man started freaking out and started trying to peel back my fingers, then he smashed them with a hammer and proceeded to pour salt in my wounds. I couldn't hold on any longer and fell 17 stories to the ground in some bushes. Miraculously I was alive, and as I stumbled to my feet I looked to the sky and thought, God must have some greater purpose for me to survive something like that. Then a refrigerator fell on me and killed me.
Peter told the guy that was crazy enough and to enjoy heaven (also that he knows somebody who just went in). About 5 mins later another man walks up and Peter asks him how he died.
The guy says, "Get this, I'm naked in a refrigerator"
Comedian Josh Sneed told this joke at a show I saw, so give him the credit. Check him out, he's really funny.
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