I went to the grocery store the other day and couldn't find a damn parking space anywhere near the doors. I was in a hurry and only had to get a few things, so I knew I would only be in there for about five minutes.

As I rolled down the parking lot, aisle after aisle, I kept noticing the dozens of crippled spots sitting empty. So, after about 3 minutes of driving around aimlessly, I finally thought, "Screw it. Crippled people don't grocery shop anyway."

(Seriously - when's the last time you saw a paralyzed person at the grocery store? Right... exactly my point!)

So anyway, I pulled into one of the dozens of empty crippled spaces, got out of my car and briskly walked to the store's entrance. All of a sudden, I heard a faint and weak voice, "Sir... Sir... Excuse me sir..."

I turned around and there was a little old lady standing about ten feet away and she was talking to me. As she approached, all hunched over like a leper, she asked, "Excuse me buddy boy. I saw you pull into that handicapped spot and you don't look handicapped."

I was in a hurry, so I said, "Listen lady, I don't have much time - I'm in a hurry and I'll only be a second."

She scowled at me and began to lecture me. "You don't look handicapped. You can't park there unless you're handicapped. So tell me, what is your handicap?"

I looked at her all innocent like and said, "I have Tourette's Syndrome... NOW FUCK OFF!"