It's Touch Being a Guy

If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.
If you're not, you're not ambitious.

If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're insensitive.

If you try to keep yourself in shape you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.

If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.