Englishman in Texas
BunRuddy
Published
12/02/2009
Englishman on holiday in Texas.
He wanders into a local shitkickers bar abd has a good few beers.
After a while, he notices there's one of those mechanical bulls in the corner and he asks the barman if he can have a go.
The barman not only says yes but grabs a mic and procedes to make a big show out of it. Englishman on a good ol' Texan bull, etc.
The Englishman climbs on and the bull starts moving.
"No one's ever made it past 5 minutes on their first try, Limey!" someone shouts.
But the Englishman sails through the 5-minute mark. He blasts past 10 and 15 and even 20 minutes, still holding on just fine.
The crowd is awestruck. He's fast approaching the World Record.
The barman cranks the bull up to 11 and it goes fucking apeshit. But the plucky Englishman hangs on in there.
Eventually, after 45 minutes, the bull breaks down and comes to a halt. The crowd are cheering and whooping as the barman grabs the hand of the sweating Englishman and shoves the mic in his face.
"Holy Goddam shit boy! You done broke the World Record by a clear 15 minutes! How'd you do that?"
The Englishman replies, "Easy. My wife's an epileptic. And if you can fuck her for 5 minutes, you can ride this bastard for an hour!"Englishman on holiday in Texas.
He wanders into a local shitkickers bar abd has a good few beers.
After a while, he notices there's one of those mechanical bulls in the corner and he asks the barman if he can have a go.
The barman not only says yes but grabs a mic and procedes to make a big show out of it. Englishman on a good ol' Texan bull, etc.
The Englishman climbs on and the bull starts moving.
"No one's ever made it past 5 minutes on their first try, Limey!" someone shouts.
But the Englishman sails through the 5-minute mark. He blasts past 10 and 15 and even 20 minutes, still holding on just fine.
The crowd is awestruck. He's fast approaching the World Record.
The barman cranks the bull up to 11 and it goes fucking apeshit. But the plucky Englishman hangs on in there.
Eventually, after 45 minutes, the bull breaks down and comes to a halt. The crowd are cheering and whooping as the barman grabs the hand of the sweating Englishman and shoves the mic in his face.
"Holy Goddam shit boy! You done broke the World Record by a clear 15 minutes! How'd you do that?"
The Englishman replies, "Easy. My wife's an epileptic. And if you can fuck her for 5 minutes, you can ride this bastard for an hour!"
He wanders into a local shitkickers bar abd has a good few beers.
After a while, he notices there's one of those mechanical bulls in the corner and he asks the barman if he can have a go.
The barman not only says yes but grabs a mic and procedes to make a big show out of it. Englishman on a good ol' Texan bull, etc.
The Englishman climbs on and the bull starts moving.
"No one's ever made it past 5 minutes on their first try, Limey!" someone shouts.
But the Englishman sails through the 5-minute mark. He blasts past 10 and 15 and even 20 minutes, still holding on just fine.
The crowd is awestruck. He's fast approaching the World Record.
The barman cranks the bull up to 11 and it goes fucking apeshit. But the plucky Englishman hangs on in there.
Eventually, after 45 minutes, the bull breaks down and comes to a halt. The crowd are cheering and whooping as the barman grabs the hand of the sweating Englishman and shoves the mic in his face.
"Holy Goddam shit boy! You done broke the World Record by a clear 15 minutes! How'd you do that?"
The Englishman replies, "Easy. My wife's an epileptic. And if you can fuck her for 5 minutes, you can ride this bastard for an hour!"Englishman on holiday in Texas.
He wanders into a local shitkickers bar abd has a good few beers.
After a while, he notices there's one of those mechanical bulls in the corner and he asks the barman if he can have a go.
The barman not only says yes but grabs a mic and procedes to make a big show out of it. Englishman on a good ol' Texan bull, etc.
The Englishman climbs on and the bull starts moving.
"No one's ever made it past 5 minutes on their first try, Limey!" someone shouts.
But the Englishman sails through the 5-minute mark. He blasts past 10 and 15 and even 20 minutes, still holding on just fine.
The crowd is awestruck. He's fast approaching the World Record.
The barman cranks the bull up to 11 and it goes fucking apeshit. But the plucky Englishman hangs on in there.
Eventually, after 45 minutes, the bull breaks down and comes to a halt. The crowd are cheering and whooping as the barman grabs the hand of the sweating Englishman and shoves the mic in his face.
"Holy Goddam shit boy! You done broke the World Record by a clear 15 minutes! How'd you do that?"
The Englishman replies, "Easy. My wife's an epileptic. And if you can fuck her for 5 minutes, you can ride this bastard for an hour!"
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