Raquel Welch, Dolly Parton and The Queen of England all die on the same day. Raquel gets to heaven first and St. Peter says to her, "So why should I let you in through the Pearly Gates?" She smiles, takes off her shirt and waves her boobs around and he says, "Oh . . . I see. OK, you're in."

Dolly shows up next and St. Peter asks the same question. So she takes off her shirt, waves her boobs around and he says, "Oh yes, you may go in, too."

Finally, The Queen arrives and St. Peter asks the same question to her. Instead of taking off her shirt, though, she reaches into her bag and pulls out a bottle of Perrier, shakes it, lifts her skirt, opens the bottle and shoots the carbonated water all over her royal clam. "Wait a minute!" St. Peter exclaims. "What are you doing? I can't let you in with that!"

"I'm sorry," says the Queen. "But where I come from a Royal Flush always beats two pair."