Q. What do you do when a bass player is knocking on your door?
A. Pay him for the pizza.

Q. How do you know when a drummer is knocking at your door?
A. The knocks begin to slow down.

Q. What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A. A singer.

Q. How do you make a guitar player stop playing?
A. Put sheet music in front of him.

Q. What did the bass player get on his music test?
A. Drool.

Q. What's the range on a fretless bass?
A. Depends on how good your arm is.

Q. How is an electric guitar like a vacuum?
A. They both suck when you plug them in.

Q. What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend?
A. Homeless

Q. Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car?
A. It took him an hour to get the drummer out.

Q. What did the guitarist say at his first gig?
A. Do you want fries with that?

Q. What's the difference between a singer and a puppy?
A. The puppy stops whining eventually.

Q. Playing it wrong once is a mistake. What is playing it wrong twice?
A. Jazz

Q. How do you make a million dollars playing jazz?
A. Start with two million.

Q. What do you get when you play new age music backwards?
A. New age music.

Q. How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 11. One to change the bulb and 10 to say, "I can do that."

Q. How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One. But the guitarist has to show him how first.

Q. How do you know when the drummer solo is REALLY off beat?
A. The bass player notices.

Q. What's the difference between a guitar and a savings bond?
A. Savings bonds will mature and make money.