The wife came home early and found
her husband in their bedroom making love to a
very attractive young woman.

And she was somewhat upset. 'You
are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare
you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother
of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce
right away!'
And the husband replied, 'Hang on
just a minute love so at least I can tell you
what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she
sobbed,' but they'll be the last words
you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I
was getting into the car to drive home, and this
young lady here asked me for a lift. She
looked so down and out and defenseless that I
took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well
dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't
eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home
and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last
night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're
afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing
devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested
a shower, and while she was doing that,
I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of
holes, so I threw them
away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her
the designer jeans that you have had for a few
years, but don't wear because you say they are
too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was
your anniversary present, which you don't wear
because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave
you for Christmas that you don't wear just
to annoy her, and I also donated those boots
you bought at the expensive boutique and don't
wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued
'She was so grateful for my understanding
and help that as I walked her to the door,
she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
'Please .... Do you have anything else that your
wife doesn't use?'