Due to the climate of political
correctness now pervading America:

Kentuckians, Tennesseans
and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as

'HILLBILLIES.'

You must now refer to them
as

APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore,


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. She is not a 'BABE'
or a 'CHICK' - She is a

BREASTED AMERICAN.
'


2. She is not 'EASY'
- She is


'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'


3. She is not a 'DUMB
BLONDE' - She is a


'LIGHT-HAIRED
DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'


4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND'
- She is a


'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'


5. She does not 'NAG' you
- She becomes


' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'


6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER'
- She is a


' LOW COST PROVIDER.'


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. He does not have a 'BEER
GUT' - He has developed a

'LIQUID GRAIN
STORAGE FACILITY.'


2. He is not a 'BAD
DANCER' - He is


' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'


3.. He does not 'GET
LOST ALL THE TIME' - He

' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS.'


4. He is not 'BALDING'
- He is in

'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'


5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' -
He develops a case of

RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'