What weighs 5000 pounds and wears glass slippers?
Cinderelephant.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car?
Time to get a new car.

What time is it when ten elephants are chasing you:
Ten after one.

Why don't elephants ride bicycles?
They don't have thumbs to ring the little bell.

What's red and white on the outside and gray on the inside.
Campbell's cream of elephant soup.

What's the difference between eating an elephant and eating peanut butter?
Elephant doesn't sitck to the roof of your mouth.

How do you catch an elephant?
You hide in tall grass and make a sound like a peanut. When the elephant comes by you look through the wrong end of binoculars, pick it up with a pair of tweezers and put him in a pickle jar.