Bubble wrap was originally supposed to be textured wallpaper. For some insane reason, that didn’t sell, so IBM began wrapping their computers in the stuff before they shipped them out. But like, think about a room with bubble wrap wallpaper. How much would you pay for that? Because I would pay, like, a lot.

Lysol, that lemon-scented disinfectant you use on countertops, was originally marketed as a vaginal douche for women. This! Is! Wrong! On! So! Many! Levels! Apart from the obvious health risks of pouring Lysol up your vajayjay, let’s take a look at this ad, shall we? “A man marries a woman because he loves her. So instead of blaming him if married love begins to cool, she should question herself [and her dirty vagina].” Who in the hell wrote this?

Listerine was originally marketed as a vaginal douche. Just kidding. But it’s close! They didn’t actually know what to do at first with the minty fresh mouth cleaner. First, it was advertised as a cure for STDs (which it wasn’t). Then, they tried to sell it as a softener of foot corns, a surgical cleanser, and a way to make cigarettes minty fresh! Finally, a brave someone decided to take a big ol’ swig of the stuff…and the rest is history.

Where does Coke, the name of that fizzy sweet nectar of the Gods come from? Why, cocaine of course! The soda was invented by a Civil War vet named John Pemberton who loved his morphine. His goal with “French Wine Coca,” Coke’s original name, was to help morphine addicts ditch their drug habit. So, good on him? Anyway, Coke no longer has cocaine in it. Unfortunately.

Kimberly-Clark invented a super-absorbent surgical gauze during World War I. It was used, I imagine, to plug gaping head wounds and assist in amputations. After the war, they repackaged the gauze and re-marketed it as Kotex. It is used, I know from experience, in the never-ceasing war that is having a woman’s body.

The Nalgene lab designed a highly durable polymer for a centrifuge machine, but soon they discovered their new material could be used for something way better and more important: water bottles!

A long time ago, (we’re talking a thousand years ago), wine was very expensive to import. It was distilled to help lessen the tax on it, but it was discovered that the distilled spirit was just as yummy as the wine itself! This distilled spirit became known as brandy, the favorite drink of mustachioed men who wear ascots, I think.

Kleenex wasn’t always “Kitten soft for when you’ve got the sniffles.” Originally, it was “Kitten soft for when you’ve got make-up all over your face.” That’s right! When Kleenex tissues were first sold, they were marketed as the make-up remover all the stars used. Then, real make-up remover came around and people were like, “Eff this, I’m going to blow my nose in it.” That’s probably how it went, anyway.

Play-Doh. Fun sculpting clay for kids or wallpaper cleaning product? If you were to say, “Originally, when Play-Doh was invented in the 1930s, it was meant to be used as a wallpaper cleaning product, but it didn’t really become popular until it was re-marketed as a toy for kids,” you’d be scarily accurate, and I would tell you to get out of my head.

Propecia helps men who suffer from hair loss, but it was originally meant to treat enlarged prostates. The hair loss thing was more marketable, so they went with that. So if you’re a bald man with a huge prostate, Propecia is perfect for you!

Viagra was originally meant to cure heart disease. But it did something else instead. Imagine being a member of that test group!