Someone called 9-1-1 to report "a stranger called me a b**ch at the train station". My colleague had to inform the caller that namecalling isn't a crime.

My grandma used to call 911 to have the fire department bring her milk (she lived next to the fire department). She did this multiple times. Eventually, the fire chief gave her his direct line and he brought her milk until she came to live with us. She passed away in 2004. My grandma was in early stages of dementia when this was happening, and it was a small town fire dept with a chief who had known her 30 years.

This guy calls early in the morning to report a forest fire. He goes on saying it’s getting closer and then goes silent. He then said never mind. The forest fire was the sun coming up. He admitted that he normally isn’t up at this early in the morning.

CALLER: There is a shark in the ocean. ME: Yes, ma'am, that is where we keep them.

Bloke rang in a panic and said he was being burgled. Had walked to the bathroom in the middle of the night and seen a guy on the landing. Sprinted back to his bedroom and rang the police. 3 cop cars and a dog unit speed over to his house and do a sweep of the house. Couldn’t find anything. When one cop asked him where he’d seen this guy he showed him the hallway which had a very large full sized mirror at the end. Turns out the guy had seen his own reflection in the dark.

Reporting the moon missing. Imagine having so much faith in your local police department that you think they can recover the moon.

One caller was concerned for his safety when going outside his house because the neighbor a couple of houses down had his table saw out in his garage and he was afraid the wind would blow the blade over to his house and injure him.

Guy called 911 before because he ordered a Filet-O-Fish from the drive-thru at McDonald’s and it had ketchup on it. He was adamant about wanting the police to show up…His “argument” was that he worked at McDonald’s when he was 16 and you don’t put ketchup on Filet-O-Fish. He got the police alright…and a DUI charge.

Dude called 911 because he got off a train at the wrong stop and was broke. Honestly it wasn't even his predicament so much as he was absolutely obnoxious about it, even called 911 severel more times after I had already told him officers were en route. Annoying that he's tying up a line for medical emergencies, but that being said i'm going to preach a little: If you honestly think you may have an emergency but aren't sure if it "qualifies" for 911 use, don't worry about it and just do it. All emergency services personnel would much rather have much ado about nothing than have something terrible happen when it could have been prevented. This goes for all types of emergencies/situations.

Someone called to tell us we don't need to use lights and sirens at night on our emergency vehicles because it woke up their baby.

Ambulance dispatch. Called for us to hand them the remote from across the living room. Yeah.

CALLER: I want to report a robbery. ME: Tell me what happened. CALLER: I am at Burger King and I ordered 6 chicken nuggets but they only gave me 5.

Had a guy call, in a serious panic, saying someone was trying to break into his house. He sounded super panicked, anxious. I heard loud knocking through the phone. The caller also threw in "I pay your f**king taxes now SEND THE F**KING COPS, I DON'T WANT TO DIE", etc... I could hear that constant loud door banging and a muffled voice. The guy then throws in "I just had pizza delivered here, and now I have someone trying to break into my house!!"... and then I could hear through the phone, the delivery guy say "sir, you forgot your change!", over and over. That was back in 2009 and still bothers me at the utter stupidity.

Frantic Caller: "I want to report a suspicious male!" Me: "Ok, where is he?" (gets location) "What makes him suspicious?" Caller: "Well he's walking down the street carrying a dangerous weapon!" Me: "What kind of weapon does he have and what is he doing with it?" Caller: "HE HAS A SNAKE. IT...IT'S AROUND HIS NECK! SOMEONE SHOULD DO SOMETHING!" Me: "....Ma'am, a snake is not a weapon nor is it illegal."

Calls 911 from a pay phone. “911, what’s your emergency?” “I don’t have an emergency. I didn’t have quarter and I want to talk to a cop.” “Do you have $699.75?” “Huh? What are you talking about?” “Sir, 911 is for emergencies. You can be fined for misusing 911.” “Are you gonna get me a f**king cop or not?” “Sure.” Yeh. He got the fine for it.

When my daughter was 5 she spent a week with my dad. He gave her an old iPhone to play with. He said he got a kick out of it bc she has been “fake talking” to someone all week. Well towards the end of the week she handed the phone to him and he played along and said hello. It was a 911 operator! She had been calling all week to chat with them. They weren’t mad but wanted to let my dad know that out of service iphones can still call 911.

CALLER: There is this light in the sky, out over the harbor. ME: (looking out the window from which I can see the area). Sir, that is the moon.

Tons of calls about people being the "wrong" race in their neighborhood.

Two women called screaming so violently I was convinced they were being mauled or murdered. Their neighbors ferret slipped under the door to their apartment.

Didn't like the way the neighbors threw out their garbage.

911 call for Foreign Body in the abdomen... belly button lint, it was blue belly button lint.

Caller: I had a lady friend over, I went to get us drinks, there was $400 on my dresser, now she's gone and so is the money. Me: (trying to get a description) what was her name, do you know where she lives, etc since he opened with saying he knew her Caller: ughhhhh um I'm not really sure. I can't remember Me: You don't know your "friends" name? (Awkward pause) do you want to find out and call back?

Asking what the number to 911 is.

On the iPhone you can snooze your alarm by pressing the lock button, coincidentally you can also call 911 by pressing the lock button multiple times, I’ve done this twice now and both times the guy on the line laughed at me.

Received a call because a house full of women had a cockroach in it.

What time does the parade or fireworks start?

"I have a court date coming up, but I have to go camping that day...what should I do?"

"Are homeless people allowed in the park?"

I have been called out for a grown man who nicked himself shaving. It had stopped by the time we arrived. I taught him the “toilet paper square” trick and about styptic pencils. He still wanted the 40$ taxi ride to emerg.

Advice on what kind of lotion to put on a sunburn.

"My two year old has a piece of toilet paper in the nose."