26 Spicy Historical Facts About Famous Freaks
While they may be revered for their inventions, literary works, and general contributions to society, history's most beloved figures weren't too different from us — and by "weren't too different from us," I mean they too got really, really weird with it.
When Benjamin Franklin wasn't flying kites in a thunderstorm, he was touting the benefits of getting it on with an older woman. Meanwhile, the creator of Wonder Woman had some, erm, binding inspiration for the iconic character, pulling from his polycule — and proclivities — in conjuring the now-beloved comic icon. But it's not just the Founding Fathers and DC legends who were known for letting their freak flags fly.
From Lyndon B. Johnson's johnson to Boris Yeltsin's underwear-clad cravings, here are 18 historical freaks who were famously freaky.
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1. Winston Churchill
"Churchill liked having meetings when he was in the bath." -
2. Cleopatra
“Cleopatra’s nickname from Caesar was ‘Golden Mouth’. You can guess why.” -
3. John F. Kennedy
“JFK's idea of s— was a frantic pounding while mostly clothed that tended not to last more than a minute. It's thought this technique developed since that was all the free time he was able to muster during campaigning. A quote I remember about it was ‘he seemed to prize urgency and completion as fast as possible.’” -
4. Babe Ruth
“Babe Ruth may or may not have slept with Lou Gehrig’s wife and it ruined their friendship.” -
5. Ferdinand VII
"Ferdinand VII (Spanish king) had such a massive d— he killed some of his wives and had to use a especial "donut" to have s—.” -
6. Julius Caesar
“Just learned this last week. Julius Caesar possibly had a gay affair and the Romans were upset not because it was a gay affair but because he was the one being penetrated and that was seen as unmanly.” -
7. Albert Einstein and Charles Darwin
“Einstein and Charles Darwin both married their cousin.” -
8. Warren G. Harding
“Warren G. Harding, 29th president of the US, is the only person to have held that office and penned e— literature. He wrote several dirty letters and poems to his mistress, many of which can be viewed online. Although it was never proven, it is suspected by some that the ultimately fatal food poisoning that prematurely ended his presidency was deliberately caused by his wife as revenge for his infidelity.” -
9. Tokugawa Ienari
“In Japan, we have Tokugawa Ienari (1773-1841), the 11th and longest-reigning Tokugawa Shogun. In addition to his wife, he was said to have 39 official concubines, plus hundreds of other women in his harem. He fathered 26 sons and 27 daughters with 16 of his concubines. Was said to have syphilis, but nonetheless managed to live to the ripe old age of 68.” -
10. Wonder Woman Co-Creator William Moulton Marston
“Wonder Woman was created by a polyamorous man who was (a) a feminist, (b) a k—skter, and (c) living with two bisexual women. Wonder Woman was influenced by at least one of his wives, and started as a very overt, k—ky, empowering s— symbol for women, and was nearly cancelled because of how explicitly she was being depicted. It's supposed that her rope of truth was partly inspired by rope play in B—M.” -
11. Mahatma Gandhi
“Gandhi slept (literally) alongside naked girls to test his celibacy.” -
12. Edgar Allan Poe
"Edgar Allan Poe (M27) married his ‘slightly’ younger cousin (F13).” -
13. Queen Victoria and Prince Albert
“Queen Victoria really loved having s— with her husband Prince Albert. Like, really loved s— with him. To the point that she was quite audible through doors and walls. Several times per day.” -
14. Lyndon B. Johnson
“Lyndon B. Johnson had a giant p— he was proud of. He nicknamed it ‘Jumbo.’” -
15. John Quincy Adams
“John Quincy Adams boasted that outdoor b—ing was an American invention. Between that, his pet alligator, and a life spent in public service (literally from his teenage years until his death), probably far more interesting than most people who've held high office in the USA.” -
16. Edward VII
“The new UK monarch King Charles III great-great-grandfather Edward VII was so obese that he commissioned a french carpenter to build a chair that would enable him to have s—x with one or two p—tues at once. It is called the siege d'amour and was installed at his favourite brothel.” -
17. James Joyce
“James Joyce wrote absolutely filthy letters to his wife Nora. He was one randy chap altogether.” -
18. Coca-Cola Inventor John Pemberton
“Not quite a historical figure but John Pemberton, the inventor of Coca Cola, did so because he was chronically addicted to morphine and was trying to get off of it. Original ingredients were cocaine (famously), sugar, alcohol, and caffeine. He was trying to supplant his other addiction. It did not work.” -
19. Nero
“Nero had multiple wives (including a male), attended o—, and tied people up and assaulted them while wearing an animal pelt.” -
20. Joseph Stalin’s daughter Svetlana Alliluyeva
“Stalin's daughter got around quite a bit. She had multiple affairs with married men and even confronted wives at different points. She had 4 marriages, but the Soviets only recognized 3 of them. When she was a teenager she was had an affair with a married man in his 30s. When Stalin found out about it he sent the guy to the Gulag for 5 years (he got 5 more when he got out).” -
21. Prince of Zhongshan Liu Sheng
“Liu Sheng, the Prince of Zhongshan (died. 113 BCE) and brother of Emperor Wu was buried with this double d—o so he can enjoy humanly pleasures in the afterlife. He was said to have indulged women and alcohol and fathered as many as 120 sons.” -
22. F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway
“F. Scott Fitzgerald's wife, Zelda, told him that the way he was built, he would never please a woman. He confessed this to Hemingway in a French bar, and Hemingway told him to meet him in the bathroom where he looked at Fitzgerald's d— and told him he was ‘perfectly fine.’” -
23. Prince of Jiangdu Liu Fei
“Liu Fei the Prince of Jiangdu (169-128 BCE), another (half-) brother of Emperor Wu, and whom Sima Qian described as "extremely arrogant and living in luxury," was also buried with s—x toys including bronze d—os and even a jade -— plug.” -
24. Boris Yeltsin
“The Boris Yeltsin pizza incident, in which the former Russian leader was found in just his underwear outside the White House hailing a cab so he could go get pizza.” -
25. Herodotus
“Herodotus, an ancient Greek Historian once stated that female mummies who passed away in Ancient Egypt were found more decomposed than male mummies. The reason being was that the females were kept at home for longer periods of time before sent for embalming to prevent n—ia.” -
26. Les Misérables author Victor Hugo
"Victor Hugo was a very diligent visitor at the Parisian brothels. So much so that the day he was buried, all the Parisian brothel closed for the day so p—s could go to the funeral.”
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