Twitter Twibute by @BoyCalledAnn
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1.
The road to hell is paved. That's nice.
— Fuzzy LePimp (@FuzzyPimple) June 5, 2012 -
2.
I'm under the assumption that "born again Christian" is code for "I used to be a slut".
— Anna (@smartypeach) September 11, 2011 -
3.
When i start to feel confident I remember how I've played entire games of Mario Kart watching the wrong screen then I hate myself again.
— Gio (@nerdsrockk) May 27, 2013 -
4.
911: What's your emergency? Me: I need several Ambuli stat! 911: Ambuli? Me: Yea plural for Ambulance 911: No its not Me: It should be
— Robert Elliott Esq. (@RobElliottComic) April 27, 2013 -
5.
It's always the annoying people who have self confidence.
— andy lassner (@andylassner) May 27, 2013 -
6.
Don't forget to update your relationship status to "between breakups"
— Fuzzy LePimp (@FuzzyPimple) May 27, 2013 -
7.
It was thirty seconds til daybreak I waited patiently And then it dawned on me
— Oak Hill (@oakhillbargrill) May 28, 2013 -
8.
Jesus loves you. He's just not IN love with you.
— Mr Fletch (@Mister_Fletch) May 29, 2013 -
9.
I've done some pretty stupid things in my life. My wife is easily the stupidest. Although she's not that pretty.
— Brad (@BradThePromoGuy) April 8, 2013 -
10.
Just put a bunch of festive hats on all of my small appliances, now going into the kitchen feels like a surprise party thrown by robots.
— Don Nichols (@TheDairylandDon) January 1, 2013 -
11.
I take comfort in the fact that my neighbour will probably die before me. I'll be at his funeral, leafblowing through the entire ceremony.
— Indie Claws (@Skullcat) October 6, 2012 -
12.
Sent my ex a card that said, "Get better soon." He's not ill, just really crap in bed.
— Out Of Left Field (@OutOfLeftField_) April 7, 2013 -
13.
Good thing wind isn't made of anvils.
— Steve (@WigCannon) June 27, 2012 -
14.
Mick Jagger clams his secret to looking good is ballet. That, and doing the complete opposite of anything Keith Richards does.
— Neal Mayhem (@RealNealMayhem) June 13, 2013 -
15.
I hope the next Rambo movie is called 'Rambo No. 5' and its just Stallone dancing through the jungle shooting a little bit of this and that.
— Nigey (@koalaslament) December 17, 2012 -
16.
I’m going to name my kid Helmut. It’s for his own protection.
— Oh, THAT Ryan... (@Professor_Ryan) June 13, 2013
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