Scotty Smalls The SandlotYou know why Smalls is always killing everyone? Because he sucks at baseball. Benny had to literally hit the ball directly into his glove for him to make a catch. He barely deserves the spot in the announcers booth he has at the end of the movie.

Air Bud Air BudEven if the rules of basketball could be completely rewritten to allow for a dog to play in the NBA, youd probably want to stay away from drafting him. Because hes a fucking dog.

Spike Little GiantsSure, Spike can make a serious tackle, but hes a dirty player. Hes also overconfident, sexist, and most certainly on steroids. Side note: Icebox grew up to be a babe. Check it out.

Greg Goldberg The Mighty DucksGoldberg is a terrible goalie, which is acceptable when they are a ragtag group of misfits. But once they are playing serious hockey and there is an incredible goalie that the coach refuses to play probably because shes a girl the fact that Goldberg takes the ice is indefensible.

Landry Friday Night LightsAs the show moved even more onto the field, Landry was getting left in the dust, so they scripted him into somehow making the team as a kicker. Which he sucked at so bad that the coach never learned his name.

Doug Glatt GoonAs important as a big-time enforcer is in hockey, drafting a guy who cant even skate just because hes got a hard head is not a great draft plan anymore. Or ever.

Teen Wolf Teen WolfWhen Michael J. Fox makes his transformation into Teen Wolf, he has the game of his life. And while that would definitely sell tickets, theres probably going to come a day where he rips out a players throat at center court. You dont want that heat.

Jackie Moon Semi-ProThe forward also serves as the head coach and starting power forward. Hes pretty much Jerry Jones if he was allowed to play quarterback himself.

JaMarcus Russell The RaidersNobody this bad could exist outside of a fantasy world created by the cruelest scriptwriters.

Kenny Powers Eastbound and DownNo one ever doubted that Kenny Powers had the goods, but he is the ultimate locker room plague. Unless youre a team primed for failure and disappointment ahem, Mets, Powers is a stay-away.