10 Drinks For Those Not Fearing Adventures
Kenneth Coo
Published
06/21/2015
Drink recipes for badasses only.
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1.
Bloody Tampon - It’s all about the imagery, and the disgust associated with it. The drink is a strange mixture of one portion tomato juice and two parts vodka to create the shot which looks bloody. Before chugging the drink down, you have to suck on a paper napkin for about 10 seconds, which only dries the mouth, and doesn’t really help in making the drink tasty. The drink, the tissue paper and the name, together do not paint a healthy picture. -
2.
Smoker’s Cough - This drink is supposed to be a reminder of the phlegm that a smoker, with a horrible lung condition, coughs up. Visually and texturally, it succeeds. Consistency-wise, many vote it the worst shot created. We leave you to imagine the drink’s taste, considering it is made with a dollop of warm Mayonnaise into Jagermeister. Tapeworm, on the other hand, contains one part each of Tabasco and Vodka, with pepper and Mayonnaise. -
3.
Prairie Oyster/ Prairie Chicken/The Eggermeister - Mix together Bourbon, Tabasco and a raw egg, and there you have it: the Prairie Oyster. For the Prairie Chicken, as you remove the Tabasco from the equation, you’ll start to feel that it is all for the better. It isn’t. The flavour of gin with egg yolk can never meet a happy ending. Another eggy recipe is The Eggermeister. It is one portion Jagermeister, with a pickled egg in it, which you chew before downing the potential choking hazard. -
4.
Infected Whitebread - If you have a fascination for chunky drinks and poor gag reflex, this is the drink for you. It is a mixture of one part vodka with Bloody Mary Mix. IF it had ended there, we would still be ok, as we have already wrapped our heads around the idea of Bloody Tampon. But, to add to the misery, a spoonful of cottage cheese is added. The result is extremely off-putting, visually speaking. And then goes the actual ac of drinking cheese chunks. -
5.
Horse Jizz - Do not confuse it with Hoihoi Tatea of New Zealand, which is exactly what you think. Horse Jizz, on the other hand, is a horse semen-free shot, but we assume that the taste cannot be any better. This wonderfully vile drink is a mixture of beer and milk. The taste and the texture are both enough to make even the biggest alcoholic want to run away. But hey, if you like thick frothy drinks with disgusting names, give it a shot. -
6.
Alligator Sperm - While we are on the subject of sperm, let us introduce you to another amazing drink with a name that churns the stomach and a taste that does something similar. Alligator Sperm is a shot that is made of equal parts melon liqueur and pineapple juice, and as a topping goes a teaspoon of cream, which leads to the formation of curdles in all the acidity. Not a very appetizing drink to look at. The green colour doesn’t help the cause. -
7.
Cement Mixer - Apparently curdled cream remnants are a thing in the alcohol world. Why else would there be both Alligator sperm and Cement Mixer? To make it, one part Bailey’s Irish Cream is one part lime juice, and the drinker needs to swish the concoction in his mouth. The taste is tolerable, but the chunky consistency is not. Lime curdles the Baileys and turns into ‘cement’ that sticks to the molars and tonsils, solving the mystery behind its name. -
8.
Hot Mexican Hooker - The name sounds exotic and adventurous, and so is the potion, but in the nastiest possible way. The shot contains two parts tequila to every one part Tabasco sauce. As if that was not enough, they decided to add a magic ingredient: a dash of juice from the can of Tuna fish. It is definitely not designed for the faint at heart. But the good news is, there is no threat of catching STIs form this vomit-inducing magic potion. -
9.
Liquid Steak - This is the closest to a steak that you can possibly get in a shot, and this may be the perfect drink for a meat lover. On second thought, if you love your steak, chances are you will still not like this drink, because this will taste nothing close to a steak. This concoction is a mixture of one part rum and one part Worcestershire Sauce. It is possibly the idea that steak tastes like this unholy combination that encouraged so many people to go vegan. -
10.
New Jersey Turnpike/Dirty Panties - We have been saving the best for the last for you. You can only get these at a bar – the filthiest one at that – and must order at the last call. Squeeze the scummiest bar mat and bar rag’s contents to get the New Jersey Turnpike. Add Parmesan Cheese to it and you get Dirty Panties. Whichever you choose, you’re in for a surprise package of tastes and germs from the mix of spirits and filth. Finish your experience with a hepatitis shot.
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