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- Drinking
- Lady: do you drink? Man: Yes Lady: How much a day? Man: 3 six packs Lady: What's a six pack cost? Man: About...
- BroncoFan_17 03/03/2013
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- Taking a cab home
- With the holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with you about drinking and driving. As you may know some of us have been...
- deathwish01b 12/22/2012
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- Drinking and driving
- I would like to share a personal experience. As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way...
- guitarlover 12/13/2012
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- Money for the Cleaners
- Its around closing time at a bar, and a guy is absolutely shitfaced. He's trying to say something when all of a sudden he throws up all over his...
- kappakid71 05/07/2012
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- The Wrath of a Woman
- A woman Police officer pulls over a speeding car. The Officer says, "I clocked you at 80 mph. sir." The driver says, "Gee,...
- ratejokes 04/15/2012
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- The Buffalo Theory
- A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are...
- klabeaune 03/28/2012
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- Her Body's a Temple
- Patrick O'Malley hoisted his beer and said: "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!" - and he took home the...
- ussoldier820 03/17/2012
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- Irish drinking toast
- May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.
- bbomb 03/15/2012
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- vampire in a bar
- a vampire walks into a bar. he asks the bartender for a glass of hot water. the bartender says "hey i hope you dont mind me asking but dont you...
- smegmadeth 02/18/2012
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- hows your day going!!!
- There I was is sitting by myself at the bar staring at my untouched drink. Suddenly, a 6'8" tattooed biker steps up next to me and grabs my...
- bigewalksalone 12/09/2011
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- Alcoholic Side Effects
- Alcoholic Side Effects The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such as: WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make...
- wap123 09/13/2011
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- out the window
- theres these two guys that walk into a bar. they sit in the corner and order a drink. about five minutes later a guy in a long coat comes in and...
- micropimpin 07/29/2011
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- Terrible Accident
- Police arrive at the scene of a terrible one car accident. The car is wrapped around a light pole, a man and woman lay unconscious and a little boy...
- scubadude 07/23/2011
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- What's the difference....
- What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? Answer: one less drunk
- keymo1331 05/14/2011
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- Thoughts on Drinking
- Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of...
- Marine13 02/22/2011
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- kings and happyness
- Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?" Little Johnny:...
- INTERNETMUNCH 02/11/2011
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- 3 Elderly Guys
- 3 elderly guys are walking down the street. The first one says "Windy, isn't it?" The second one says "No... today's...
- philly_g28 01/05/2011
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- Please becarful eBaumer's!
- A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol...
- kilr33 01/04/2011
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- A question of being buzzed or drunk
- Two guys are drinking at a bar and one of them says to the other: "I can't tell if I'm buzzed or drunk" His friend takes a good hard...
- Urbanus1234 10/26/2010
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- How do you catch a bear?
- Dig a hole, fill it with ashes, put peas around the outside. When a bear comes by, it will bend over to take a pea, and then you kick it in the ash...
- Selimus 10/23/2010
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- Walks into a bar, drunk dry cleaning
- A drunk walks into a bar, orders a shot and and immediately pukes all over his own shirt. "Wha' my gonna do now? My wifez gonna kill...
- CameOnYourFace 08/23/2010
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- Stick of dynamite
- A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the...
- CameOnYourFace 08/23/2010
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- A fat loud American walks into a Glasgow pub...
- A large and very loud American goes into a pub in Glasgow. "I hear tell all you Scatch people are real hard drinkers." he says in a big...
- Tico_Chuffs 04/22/2010
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- Russian Drinking Bet
- American goes to a bar in Russia. He says out loud "I've heard you Russians are all drunks, so I'll make a 500$ bet with anyone who thinks he...
- P00KY 03/24/2010
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- reservation cuisine
- Q: What is a seven course meal on an Indian reservation? A: A six pack and a puppy.
- udyrfrykte 02/27/2010
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- Vodka Advice
- A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied,...
- duality2011 12/21/2009
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- World's Best Pubs
- An English man, Irishman and a Scottish man are sitting in a pub full of people. The Englishman says, "The pubs in England are the best. You...
- thelegendery 12/15/2009
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- Girls' Night Out
- Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home...
- yuristache 10/26/2009
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- The Future Preporation
- Q: How do you know when a man's planning for the future? A: He buys TWO cases of beer.
- thelegendery 09/23/2009
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- Automatic Finger Cleaner
- there is a new nightclub open and one guy went in and needed to do a crap, so he went to the toilet and done his crap and he was looking around for...
- joshrat8 09/12/2009
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- Can You Give Me Push?
- A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the...
- thelegendery 09/02/2009
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- Drunken Irishman
- Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, "You'll...
- lorddread 08/16/2009
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- Fly In The Beer
- One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to...
- thelegendery 08/14/2009
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- The Flying Drink
- A man visiting the big city hears of a bar on the west side of town that is located on the top floor of a skyscraper. Finding the idea of such a...
- Oyster_Effect 08/14/2009
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- Words hard to say when very drunk
- THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE VERY DRUNK: Innovative Preliminary Proliferation Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY...
- yuri_vaultin 08/10/2009
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- A night out
- A colleague approached this man at lunch that invited him out for a few beers after work. The man said that his wife would never go for it, and that...
- rondetto 07/17/2009
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- 397
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- the man in hell
- A guy goes to hell The devil says to him "You have come to hell, and you must now choose whether to spend eternity in room 1, 2 or 3"...
- popdaddy123 07/09/2009
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- Drinking Problem
- Little Johnny goes up to his mom and says, "Mommy, i have a drinking problem. I need help." His mom, of course, freaks out. She yells,...
- blitzkrieg564 06/25/2009
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