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G= Get up early O= Open your eyes, O= Out of your bed, D= Day has risen M= Mobile beeps, O= One message received, R= Read...
My ex-wife used to beat me up just about every morning. Yeah, she would get up at 5:30 and I'd get up around 6:00
Friends...people who care about you enough to get up at 3 in the morning and not ask whats in the black plastic bag your throwing over the side...
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing to boil eggs for breakfast, wearing only the t-shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in...
Why Don't You
Why don't you eat pussy in the morning? Have you ever pulled apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
He opens his eyes, noticing his headaches. His bedroom is tidy and flowers on the window sills. He gets out the bed walking around the house....
A man went to the doctor and complained that he had the most terrible constipation. The doctor examined him and then gave him a prescription...
Don't Fart In Bed
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting...
A man enters a bar and orders a beer. After finishing it, he orders another. After drinking a third beer, a woman walks in. The man walks over to...
Dont push it ok!
This bloke's in bed with his missus when there's a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half three in the...
Blonde Eggs in the Morning
How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning? Fertilized.
She was standing in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast, wearing only the ‘T’ shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked...
A Morning Poem
I woke early one morning, The earth lay cool and still, When suddenly a tiny bird, Perched on my window sill, He sang a song so...
Too Much Sex
A man goes to the doctors and says "Doc, you gotta help me!" The doctor says "What's your problem?" The guy says...
Good Morning Blonde
So a blonde was told by her husband that saying good morning is a very polite thing for people to do. So the blonde goes out on the street to see...
Chuck Norris in the Morning
Chuck Norris gets morning wood at 3 p.m.
Lesson #1 A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and...
I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said, "Morning." He replied, "No,...
Sometimes i wake up bitchy in the morning. Other days i let her sleep in.
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