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Girlfriend gets her mind blown
I pulled out the gnarliest booger out of my nose and my gf said "NASTY! So what are you doing to do with that now?" and I said "Watch...
Last week I checked into my hotel in Tampa and was a bit lonely. I thought, I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone books like ...
Twats the Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat The doors were all bolted, and the phone off...
An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says,...
Fridge for Sale
Some guy bought a new refrigerator for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it...
Dude1: Last night, a bunch of exican thiefs came into our house and stole everything except for the towels the shampoo and the soap. Dude 2: Shit! I...
Crackheads And Alcoholics
What's the difference between a crackhead and an alcoholic? - An alcoholic will steal your keys.... A crackhead will steal your keys and help you...
Batman vs. Black Man
Q: What's the difference between Batman and a Black man? A: Batman can go out at night without Robin.
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
Black people and basketball
Little Johnny and his dad are watching an NBA game and notices all of the best players are black. So, little Johnny asks his dad," why are black...
Q: What do you do if you see your T.V. floating in the dark? A: You say, Nigga, dont drop that.
Nice Car Ugly House
In the ghetto,black people have small and ugly houses. But, somehow they have nice cars. Why is this? Because black people...
Ten Ways to steal a car
1.Bump against the car to check for a car alarm. 2.Break the window or jimmy the lock to gain entry into a locked car. 3.Cut the steering wheel...
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way.... So I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
Q: What do you do if someone tries to steal your gate? A: Nothing, he might take a fence.
Darkest before dawn
It's always darkest just before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
An old woman was in court because she stole a can of peaches. The judge said "since your crime is light, I will give you 5 days in jail, as there...
Internet Celebrity Wanted For Murder
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Photoshop Contest #76
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