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So I saw Beyonce at a coffee shop yesterday and she was looking on the ground and all over for something so I asked her what she was looking for....
The Talkative Preacher
My preacher sure likes to talk. In fact, his sermons have gotten so long that we had to change his title from Reverend to Neverend.
Whumo Havo noja
A couple of old cowboys (Sam and Bubba) were sitting in a bar having a drink (or two or three), doing what most old cowboys do; complaining about...
Ghetto dating ad!
Fo a good time call sheniqua! na fa fo, fo fo na fa
Talking blow job
So one night my friends and I go to this party. It's a pretty decent party with a lot of people I never met before, and I see this pretty hot...
Discussion Technique in marriage
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
A wealthy man purchased 10 acres of farmland in eastern Minnesota. Upon moving in, he met one of his neighbors, an older famer. Being a bit of a...
ealk a joke
a man was pushing bicycle along instaed of peddeling it.I noticed this regularly on my morning walk.One day out of curiosity I asked him why he...
Crazy People Talk
A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending...
How come when a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $4.95 a minute?
20 Stoned Epiphanies for 4 20
1. We should make brownies. > 2. When my cat meows at the walls, I have a feeling she is talking to ghosts. > 3. The phone is...
A young cowboy from Wyoming goes off to college. Half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money. He...
The Quick Talk
How are we doing today? How we doin'? Great, great. You're looking good. Love the shirt. Let me guess: Christmas present? Knew it. Great. Hey...
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO...
Drugs for Women
D A M N I T O L Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N Suppository that...
The Sensitive Man
A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around...
Oprah Show Scare
Q: What do you call ghosts who scare talkshow hosts? A: The Phantom of the Oprah.
Old people sex
In a small town, an elderly couple had been dating each other for a long time. At the urging of their friends, they decided it was finally...
Dirty Talk T.V.
What's the dirtiest thing that has ever been said on primetime TV? "Ward, weren't you a little rough on the beaver last night?"
One morning, three old men were sitting around talking about how much their hands shook. The first old guy said, "My hands shake so bad,...
Suppository or hearing aid
Two elderly men were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Stanley noticed something funny about Joe's ear. He said, "Joe did you...
Before and After sex
Aa man and his son where talking about sex. The son asked his father, "dad, what does a pussy look like?" The dad asked him,...
80 Ways to have Sex!
A man from Saudi Arabia, named Abdul, was bragging on an airline flight. Abdul said that in his country there are 79 different ways to make mad...
The Birds and the Bees
Harold asks his son, now aged ten, if he knows about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" the child said, bursting into...
Muffins in an oven
There are two muffins in an oven, one muffin says to the other one: "a bit hot isn't it?" the other muffin says:"HOLY SHIT! A...
The All Girls School
So one day the headmaster of an all girls school was giving a talk on sexual abstinence. She started talking about why sex before marriage isn't...
Wife and Husband
A person was asked if he talked to his wife after having sex..... the man replied : yea sure i do ..if can find the phone
Don't Talk to the Parrot
Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment...
Did you hear about the new supersensitive condoms? After you have sex they stick around and talk to your date.
What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman? Sexual harassment. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? $3.99 a minute.
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Yarrgghh Gerroutofit Yabastard!
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