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- 50 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator
- 50 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator 1. Make race car noises when people get on and off. 2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your...
- partydude023 09/28/2011
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- 10 things you dont want to hear before your surgery
- 1 Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough. 2 Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card? 3 Damn! Page 84 of the manual is...
- itsbriand_bitch 03/25/2011
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- what women would do if they had a penis for a day
- 10. Get ahead faster in corporate America. 9. Get a blow job. 8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat. 7. Pee standing up...
- kishandobaria 01/13/2011
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- Funny Things Said in Court PART 2
- ATTORNEY: This "Myasthenia Gravis;" does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what way does it affect your...
- xxfregiltxx 08/08/2009
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- Funny Things Said in Court PART 1
- ATTORNEY: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods? MEDICAL EXPERT: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region. ATTORNEY: What happened...
- xxfregiltxx 08/08/2009
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- 12 things not to say to a cop
- Top 12 things NOT to say to a Cop.... 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar...
- kaitones 07/29/2009
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- Things To Do In An Elevator
- 1) When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you. 2) Push the buttons and pretend...
- Vampire476 06/15/2009
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- top 10 Things to do at a mall
- 10. At the bottom of an escalator, scream "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!" 9. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed. 8. Ask a...
- RR24 05/20/2009
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- 25 things I learned from my Mom
- 25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I...
- Falthor 03/16/2009
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- Things said in Court
- These are things that people actually said in court, word for word. Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A:...
- chickick1590 02/28/2009
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- 12 Things You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support
- 12. "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?" 11. "...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it." 10. "So...what...
- ENWILSON 02/24/2009
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- To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
- To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If...
- xckxgoaleprcaun 02/23/2009
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- things you don't want to hear during surgery.
- • Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy • Someone call the janitor-we’re going to need a mop. • Wait a minute, if this is his spleen,...
- Falthor 02/17/2009
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- Things not to say on your Valentine's Date
- 1. I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired. 2. People say I remind them of Eddie...
- mortgagemescott 02/13/2009
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- Things that piss me off
- People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I...
- ViciousDick 02/11/2009
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- 40 Things You'd Love to Say at Work
- 1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of shit. 2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce. 3. How...
- cripster 01/13/2009
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- Chief to the point
- An Indian tracker is taking some pioneers through the plains in the mid-1800's. Suddenly he stops and points. "Bear have babies." He...
- saneenough 01/08/2009
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- 22 Things To Never Say To A Cop
- 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3. Aren't you that...
- pappas89 12/21/2008
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- dont say these things to your wife
- Fatal Things To Say If Your Wife's Pregnant I finished the Oreos. Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds. Y'know,...
- jakxrules1 12/14/2008
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- Things you learn from children
- If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman...
- Julien 12/02/2008
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- Things You'd Love To Say But Don't Dare
- Part III The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely...
- markaronhalt 11/23/2008
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- Things You'd Love To Say But Don't Dare
- I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. How about...
- markaronhalt 11/23/2008
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- Things You Wouldn't Know Without Movies
- Things You Wouldn't Know Without Movies -It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting. -A detective can only...
- conyersgirl 11/20/2008
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- Fatal Things To Say To A Pregnant Woman
- I finished the Oreo`s. Not to imply anything, but I don`t think the kid weighs 40 pounds. Y`know, looking at her, you`d never guess that Pamela...
- Eastside_Dave 11/05/2008
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- 10 Things you can't say while drunk
- THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO...
- Boys_Wanted 10/31/2008
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- 18 things you're taught by videogames
- 1. There are no problems that can't be solved with violence. 2. If it moves, KILL IT! 3. To drive a vehicle is very easy, practicing isn't...
- Growlingpothead 09/16/2008
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- Things to do on the bus
- Ask if you can see the cockpit. Turn on overhead reading light. Take shirt off, oil up. Take out a mirror. Touch up makeup. Make this take...
- i_know_jack 08/22/2008
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- Things to do at the Mall
- Start scuffle in Footlocker. Try to get salesman to give you a technical. Try to grate cheese using an escalator. Offer to pay for things in...
- i_know_jack 08/22/2008
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- Things to do when someone's hitting on you
- Smell your fingers...a lot. Never have more than one eye open at a time. Tell them you have a tattoo. When they ask to see it, explain without...
- i_know_jack 08/22/2008
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- 5 things to do to annoy Alex Trebek
- Phrase answers in unconventional question forms: "Is it..."; "Would it happen to be..."; "Do you suppose maybe...
- i_know_jack 08/22/2008
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- things to do to get rid of a telemarketer
- Politely tell them, "I'm sorry. I have no free will." Inquire ardently about their weight, address, sign, and "Openness to new...
- i_know_jack 08/21/2008
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- lawyers are the smartest in the world
- A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine...
- hawker30 08/13/2008
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- 31 THINGS I LEARNT AT THE MOVIES
- 1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year. 2. All beds have special...
- karbon_v12 08/06/2008
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- Things the Movies Taught US
- Things the Movies have Taught Us... 1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether...
- Its_just_me_94 07/16/2008
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- 10 things that sound dirty in golf
- 1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can...
- tmaster 06/14/2008
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- Last 10 Things a Man Would Say
- Last 10 Things a Man Would Say: 10. I think Barry Manilow is one cool dude. 9. While I'm up, can I get you a beer? 8. I think hairy...
- lilcurl 05/15/2008
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- FATAL THINGS TO SAY IF YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT
- "I finished the Oreo's" "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds." "Y'know, looking at her,...
- danzig77 05/12/2008
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- 22 things not to say to a naked guy
- 1. I've smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahh, it's cute. 3. Who circumcised you? 4. Why don't we just cuddle? 5. You know they have...
- yungjetb 04/27/2008
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- things to think about
- 1) If a midget tells a woman her hair smells nice is it sexual harassment. 2) If you clone yourself then kill it is it homocide or suicide. 3) If you...
- codyr 04/23/2008
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- 10 Things Men Know About Women
- 10 things men know about women..... 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Women have tits
- Getorix 04/18/2008
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