The New York you see on the news and the New York you see in real life are two radically different places. On the news, the city is portrayed as a dirty place riddled with crime. In reality, the city is a dirty place riddled with apartments that cost $4,000 per month. The only person regularly robbing you is your landlord!

Still, people will pay that money, either because they’re making the big bucks in the city, their parents haven’t cut them off yet, or they can’t imagine having to go back to living in the suburbs of St. Louis. However, some states are trying to change that — by trying to get New Yorkers to move there instead.

Across New York City, advertisements have popped up encouraging the “coastal elites” to abandon their 160-square-foot abodes and trek southward. For example, Louisiana Economic Development recently paid for an ad in the Wall Street Journal decrying “socialism” and urging New York residents to consider moving to a place that gets destroyed by hurricanes slightly more often than their current home.

Another advertisement, this one in Times Square, had a simple message: Move to Florida. First of all, no thank you! Second, the message was targeted at the cops, whom the buyer of the billboards apparently believe are threatened by the recent mayoral election. Buddy, the NYPD has offices in Australia and Spain — you think someone considering leaving the city is going to choose Boca Raton?

In short, I don’t think these ads are going to be effective. But hey, if you want to keep contributing to this city’s economy by buying advertisements telling people to leave, be my guest.