You’d think that in a place like New York, just about any piece of real estate is guaranteed to sell. Property is a fairly safe investment, and in one of the country’s most expensive cities, you’re sure to see a return on investment — right?

While that may be the case for something like an apartment or townhouse, it is certainly *not* the case with the state’s historic Mafioso mansions. Back in the day, gangsters would build palatial estates catered to their every interest, often replete with gold and marble.

The problem? All those lavish touches now make them really difficult to sell — and as a result, no one wants them.

For example, a gangster might have installed thick walls and multiple exits for protection, then covered every possible surface inside in over-the-top finishes. If you’re *not* a gangster, however, these additions make even minor renovations impossible.

In short, to make one of these houses look like something a modern buyer would actually want to live in, you’d basically need to strip it to the studs and start over — and if you’re going to do that, why would you pay the $18 million asking price that some of these houses are commanding?

But, to the owners of these homes: if you’re really having difficulties selling these things, I’ll take them off your hands. It’s the least I could do.