Yeah, I know people the web over are either sick and tired of list posts, or are the tards that enjoy their simple info. Fortunately, though, this one didn't consist of paraphrasing existing lists someone shit out following a cursory perusal of Google. This might be one of those sites that thrive on such a loophole, but this is one writer who's 100% original. Really, if you need research to shit one of these out, you've got problems anyway.



10 Ways It's Definitely a Relationship


1.   You gotta be careful not to mess up her hair/makeup, even when you're the one she dolled up for.



2.   She's got the table manners of a Victorian spinster and will only order the usual "chick stuff".

3.   You try to get her undivided attention via pic messages involving any of the following: cats, bunnies, hearts, rainbows, vending toys, or puppies.

4.   She might scream if you happen to catch a glimpse of her without concealer.

5.   If so much as a fart is brewing, she'd rather leave your house without an excuse.

6.   If you so much as fart, she may leave early and tell her friends you're too "unhygienic".



7.   Intimacy suddenly reaches a critical level, and she has to stop to hit the bathroom for 20 minutes. It's absolutely imperative she go into this without a trace possibility of scaly skin, armpit hair, or pussy stank on the radar.

8.   Simple jokes regarding her outfits, makeup, perfume, etc. may send her home.

9.   Not backing her up at every turn may send her home.

10. Several good months together result in talk of meeting extended family, living arrangements, and weddings.




10 Definite Signs You're in the "Friend Zone"  (please keep in mind these double as signs you're married/ ready for marriage).


1.   She likes to softly poke your stomach as you go, "Hoo-hoooo!".



2.   You keep tampons in your home or car. Or browse the selection with her.

3.   She'll whip out any part of her body to either get your opinion on how serious something looks, or whether or not guys would find it gross.

4.   Any bodily noises (farts, burps, scratching) occur at all.

5.   Her bathroom breaks are long enough to think she fell in, and she'll shamelessly admit she took a shit.

6.   She'll just show up in a dirty shirt and sweat pants.

7.   She may even show up with last night's smeared makeup, since she didn't even wash her face.



8.   She eats with you the way she would at home. On the couch. Crumbs on the shirt and all.

9.   Her ass crack might peek out as she's getting comfy for a nap on your couch - and she doesn't really give a fuck.

10. You can do pretty much any of the above, and although she may prefer not to smell your stank gas or  watch you scratch your sore nuts, it's forgotten 0.62 seconds later.


Always gotta love stank nut jokes.