Arizona: More Honest Than the Bible

Hey, Honestarizona! It's easier to post this as a blog and avoid a tedious character limit.


Yes! I have deigned to answer your questions. While Proverbs 26:4 councils me not to, as, "Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself", I chose to read on to the next verse, Proverbs 26:5, which states, "Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes". It is my righteous yet contradictory duty to show you some of the falsehood of the bible.


Did I mention that I was righteous? I am, indeed, for I honestly am not trying to denigrate and would gladly see you slip free of the figurative chains that bind you in the guise of faith. I genuinely want to help you to open your eyes and see the universe for what it truly is: an unimaginably vast realm brimming with mysterious potential and wonder... and not simply a pretty thing that twinkles in the night sky. Not an empty canvas in which we are the only beacon of life.

What evil is there in that?

No, my friend, there is naught but wholesome goodness in such knowledge, as it bonds us together and makes us closer. It allows us to dream together about tomorrow instead of argue about yesterday. I seek to do good for you, and as Proverbs 11:23 tells me, "The desire of the righteous is only good". Through the skill of my words I would tell you a new truth. I would feed a hunger you did not even know you possessed, just as Proverbs 10:11 predicted, "The mouth of a righteous man is a well of life".

Oh, no, wait a minute. What's this over here? *flips pages* Aha! There it is. Here's ano... Aw shit. Woops. Romans 3:10, "As it is written, there is none righteous, no, not one". Well that does some discredit to all that righteousness that Proverbs chapters 11-15, Ecclesiastes 9:1, James 5:16, Revelations 22:11, and hundreds others went on and on about. So Noah (Genesis 7:1), David (2 Samuel 22:25), Job (Job 2:3), Daniel (Ezekiel 14:14/20), Zacharias (Mathew 23:35), and Abel (Hebrews 11:14) who received accolades of righteousness from GOD HIMSELF don't actually deserve the title? Why is that? Is it, maybe because he also said, in Isaiah 64:6, "But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags". Probably. He was referencing the future of his so-called promised people in that one, too.


Strikes me, then, that god isn't really on top of his shit. He's slippin', as they say in the hood. It happens to every OG who doesn't realize that it's time to retire and let the young bucks get swole in the trap. Frankly, though, it seems like he's been off his game for a while. I mean, it doesn't take him very long to check himself on what he's done. Like... halfway through Genesis. Right after angels started banging human women and making Nephilim (Don't get me started on this shit, bro) and every living person had immediately descended into decadence and sin it seems like god just hangs his head. Right before he drowns the entire world, in Genesis 6:6 it reads, "The LORD regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled".

Just a second, there, professor.

Isn't this god we're talking about? The god that's referenced in Numbers 23:19 as, "God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should repent; has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?" Well that looks like it says that something totally different. Something, dare I say, contradictory?

Let's talk more about god. Why, you ask? Because this is my keyboard and I'm doing the typing.

I've stated, previously, that given that it is impossible to disprove the existence of a god and thus admit to the possibility that one might exist, I find the notion unlikely. So unlikely do I find it that it doesn't factor into my thinking in anything but the purest philosophical quandaries. The notion of a god in the BIBLICAL sense is a different story, altogether. And by different story I mean "fairy tale". The god of the bible is no more plausible than Rumplestiltskin spinning straw into gold.

We can ignore the vagaries of the order of creation that are referenced such as Genesis 1:26-27 in which Adam and Eve are created at the same time and Genesis 2:7 and 2:21-22 that make the claim that Adam preempted Eve. Who cares, right? They were only the first people, ever. We can ignore that.

I mentioned that, depending on which part of the bible you happen to be reading at the time, it can be stated that god is capable of regret. This implies a lack of foresight, in my opinion. Growing up in the church it was simply accepted as a given that god maintains his status through mastery of the three O's. Omnipresence, omnipotence, and most importantly, omniscience. This last one is supported via scripture as we can read in king David's statement in Psalms 139:12, "Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You". This is a sentiment also expressed in Psalms 44:12, "God would surely have known it, for he knows the secrets of every heart". This is a clear metaphor of the period for explaining god's total knowledge. Not just knowledge of times present and past, but also of the future as he himself states in Isaiah 46:9-10, "Remember the former things of old, for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me, declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times things that are not yet done, saying: My counsel shall stand, and I will do all My pleasure". From the mouth of god, and all that. Considering that god must have had foreknowledge of his future mistakes, and is even supposed to be unchanging, as we see in James 1:17, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows", from whence cometh divine regret for creating man? (God contradicts his own prescience in Genesis 18:20-21, by the way)

As the story goes, shortly after getting pissed off at humanity and right before killing all of us in a historically unrecorded flood he found righteousness in Noah (Wait a sec. But I though... No, nevermind) and gave him the forewarning to survive. Let's not bring up the fact that the flood is a carbon copy of a flood mentioned in the Sumerian Epic of Gilgamesh written thousands of years prior to the bible, or that Noah managed to fit eight people and countless thousands of animals onto a boat 450 feet long by 75 feet wide by 45 feet high with food and water to last for 40 days. There's also the problem of saltwater inundation of freshwater bodies that would have killed every freshwater fish, or that the rain would have diluted the ocean and wiped out thousands more ocean-dwellers. Or the fact that there's only a finite amount of water on Earth and it's not actually possible for it to rain enough to flood the entire planet. Anyways, god expressed regret for creating us and it was the righteousness of Noah that saved humanity. So god is a... genocidal monster? He orders the complete annihilation of the Amalekites in 1 Samuel 15. Down to the last sleeping baby. In 1 Samuel 6:19 he smites 50,070 people for looking into the ark of the covenant. He commits countless atrocities that I will not list, else this turn from blog to novel. All to right wrongs that he initially perpetrated or allowed himself. Where some small intervention would have more than sufficed he, instead, levels cities and wipes out whole peoples. But I thought that, as in Lamentations 3:33 "He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone". I thought that god was a lover, not a fighter, as I read in 1 John 4:16, "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them". Did not the Amalekites know love? Or the Amorites? Or the Philistines? If god will judge all for the acts of few evil people then I will judge all his actions on the basis of his evil decisions. (Or I would if he actually existed)


Whatever, man. Romans 15:33, "And now may God, who gives us his peace, be with you all. Amen."


You also made the point of asking me if I would ever consider allowing god back into my heart if proven wrong. If the god of your bible so desires my return to grace then let him ask me himself. Until then I will rest easy in the knowledge that he is not real, and will thus never come a knockin'. I will rely on the science of man to answer my questions and I will rely on my own imagination to supply all the fantasy I could ever need. These are verifiable. These are real. Besides, I've committed the one unforgivable sin, several times in this blog alone, and many more throughout my life. I have blasphemed against god. Mark 3:28-28, "I tell you the truth, all the sins and blasphemies of men will be forgiven them. But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin". Oh, woops, contradicted again! 1 John 1:19, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness".


That seemed like an abrupt way to end this. I'll hit the ol' dusty trail with a word of wisdom for ya, pardner. Your own understanding a lot sturdier than the bible would have you believe.

Uploaded 03/29/2013
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